An Open Letter To The World

By tmcbpatriot | May 12, 2012 | 1 Comment

Dear World,

I am embarrassed. In the months to come we here in the United States are going to be talking about some stupid ass sh*t. I know you will laugh at us and make fun of us. You will talk about us behind our backs and perhaps even to our faces. Well, go ahead because we deserve it.

Today, one of our our candidates for President spoke at a ridiculously backward and closed minded institution and brought up, of all things, marriage! Now, I have to preface this by telling you that this speech was actually at a university. But, this was not just any university. This was a place called Liberty University. No, I am not kidding.

What’s funny about this place is that they seemed to have missed the irony in their name because they are actually an institution of intolerance, run by these so-called Evangelical Christians. In case you don’t know about Evangelicals, they are a group who believe that our Constitution was written on the back of the ten commandments.

Now, I know what you are thinking. Our Constitution explicitly states a separation of church and state. But bear with me. If you just suspend reality while we are discussing these people, it will help you. Trust me.

So where were we? Oh yes, the speech.

First a little background: This was a speech given by a guy named Mitt Romney. You might have heard of him. He is this really wealthy, white dude from a very liberal state in our northeastern region. He has been trying to win the Presidency for some time and was recently given the chance to try.

Anyway, he was at this so-called university over the weekend to talk to their graduating class. While talking to them he said some stuff about marriage. Why, you ask? Well, you see in this country marriage is held in the highest regard, so much so that we need to be reminded of it from time to time. It is so beloved, in fact, that many of the candidates who were running for President have been married numerous times.

During the speech, Mr. Romney said this:

“The American culture promotes personal responsibility, the dignity of work, the value of education, the merit of service, devotion to a purpose greater than self, and, at the foundation, the pre-eminence of the family.” “As fundamental as these principles are, they may become topics of democratic debate. So it is today with the enduring institution of marriage. Marriage is a relationship between one man and one woman.”

Now, if you are wondering why on earth we need to reinforce marriage and say this whole “one man, one woman” thing, it is because in this country those same evangelicals, and religious people in general, really hate gay people with what I guess you could call the passion of the Christ. They have zero tolerance for them. You could say they put them on the same level as illegal mexicans. We hate them too. In other words, they are afforded no rights and should really just go away.

Being that the case, we are currently debating in this country whether or not gay people should be allowed to get married and have the same legal rights as everyone else. It is not going well. As I said before, religious people are extremely intolerant. Especially the Christian ones. Calling a school “Liberty” but affording none is what religious people are all about in this country. Maybe they do this in your part of the world too. I don’t know. But I wouldn’t be surprised.

You see, it seems that Jesus hated gays so much that the Bible is supposedly filled with his screeds against them. I haven’t actually found any, but I am told that others have. Yeah, I know. Jesus was a tolerant peace nick, blah, blah, blah. Enough with that clap trap. We are talking about sausage smokers here! Jesus may have been tolerant, but c’mon, even Jesus had a breaking point.

So please World, for your own good, ignore what we are doing over here. Change the channel. Turn the page. Click to a porn site, if your government allows that sort of thing, instead of CNN. You will be glad you did. Otherwise, I fear that you will find yourself with fewer brain cells as a result. That is something many of us here suffer from daily, especially during elections season. And let me tell you, it is not pretty.

Thank you for your time today World. I look forward to corresponding with you again in the near future. Until then, peace! (Unless of course you are gay or mexican).

Very Truly Your’s,
The United States of America

 

America Has A Poll Up Its Arse

By tmcbpatriot | May 10, 2012 | 1 Comment

I love polls. That is to say I hate them, lovingly. Today I saw one that said “Poll: 1 In 6 Voters Believe Obama Is Muslim.” What is the point of telling us this? Is this important? Does this bit of useless information change anything? Is this supposed to worry me or make me feel better that only 1 in 6 think this? After my mini-tirade to myself it then got me thinking. What else we could waste our time on in terms of polling?

Could we not say that 5 in 6 Voters Do NOT Believe Obama is a Muslim? That sounds fine to me. Looked at another way, isn’t it true that 1 in 5 Dentists Do NOT Recommended Trident To Their Patients Who Chew Gum? You see what I am saying? Then it got me thinking some more. How far can we take this?

Let’s see:

1 in 6 Voters are morons.

2 in 10 Republican men are not thinking about another man’s penis right now.

1 in 4 gun owners have not killed something…yet.

44 in 44 Presidents have not been muslim.

You see what I mean? I can do this all day and then at the end of that day I will have done nothing productive or intelligent. The same goes for polling. Polls mean nothing. This is what a professional pollster looks like for goodness sake! And the people who take these polls, who are they? Are they just sitting around waiting for the phone to ring during Judge Joe Brown commercials, only to tell some pollster a bunch of nonsense based on how they feel that day, that moment? Polls are by no means scientific, or even a reflection of how a participant will actually behave on any given day, especially when it comes to doing things like voting.

We love to feel included. Polling, I guess, gives some people a connection to something they normally do not feel they have a connection to. As for the rest of us, we have to sit back and listen to the results. Now I am no pollster, but I would guess that 1 in 3 would think that sucks!

Will Blacks Choose Religion Over Reality? Um…No.

By tmcbpatriot | May 10, 2012 | No Comments

President Obama is my President! Yes sir! Once again Obama has done something that shows great courage and leadership and he has proven once more why I voted for him. Actually, I would have voted for him no matter what, but still. You get my point.

I was watching The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell today and they were once again talking about stupid sh*t. Of course this is what the media loves to do, but nevertheless, I had to comment on it because it made me laugh and also made me a bit annoyed.

The media wants us to believe that Obama coming out for gay marriage essentially alienates a lot of black people because they are church going folk who will stay home in November because Obama supports “the gay.” To that I say…”nigga please.” I mean, are we that dumb? Media? Republicans? Who on this earth thinks this is a logical argument to make and to waste air time discussing it? Anyone? It makes me so angry at the level of ridiculousness that the media expects from us on a daily basis.

Now, to make it clear once and for all, I will say this now so it’s here and you can return to it after the election.  Here goes…Ready?

BLACK PEOPLE WILL VOTE FOR OBAMA NO MATTER WHAT AND HIS SUPPORT FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY FOR GAY PEOPLE WILL NOT CHANGE THAT! IN FACT, IT WILL ENHANCE IT!

That was loud. Sorry about that. I hope I did not wake your kids. So let’s review. Black people, the poster children for civil rights and oppression throughout history are going to stay home and not vote for Obama because he supports another group who are getting screwed in this country and essentially have a different set of rights or lack thereof from the rest of us? Have the irony police left town?

I have an idea to get to the bottom of this once and for all. Let’s ask black people if they would support “gay only” water fountains? Or perhaps they might prefer that gay folks sit in the back of the bus? Or better yet, maybe black people would spit on a gay person and continue to deny them the rights we all share based solely on their skin color or in this case their sexual preference? Let’s ask them. Go ahead. Ask a black person with even a smidgen of irony if they support the denial of basic rights of another group in this country based on factors outside of their own control.

Did you ask them? What did they say? Do they support it? Are black people going to stay home in November because the first black President, who is also the first President to ever to say this out loud, said what no other President has had the balls to say?

If Republican’s and the media in general continue with this line of absurdity then they are in fact belittling blacks and their tireless work towards greater respect, equality and dignity in the United States. It is actually an insult to them and I am offended for them.

It will continue of course, and the Right will try to play this up to the hilt. To that I say so be it. Obama knows what he is doing. This is about freedom. This is about civil rights. This is about the first black President saying that civil rights are important. He would know.

I thank you Mr. President for being so very brave and for being a leader. It is inspiring. Religion plays no factor here. Blacks, as a result of your decision, will not decide to stay home this November. They will instead come out once more to elect a leader who they see as someone who understands the future and who is not afraid to embrace what cannot and should not be stopped.

Religion? WWJD? Please. More like WWOD? Amen to that.

Shock and Sadness – Adam Yauch Dies at 47

By tmcbpatriot | May 4, 2012 | No Comments

If cancer were human it would be Republican. F**k you cancer! A sad day indeed.

Hopelessly Misinformed Latino’s For Romney

By tmcbpatriot | April 28, 2012 | 1 Comment

I’m Mitt Romney and I approve this message: (Estoy Mitt Romney y apruebo este mensaje)

Hola! My name is Miguel and I am a Latino supporting Mitt Romney for President in 2012. I encourage all Latinos to do the same.

America is in troubled times, my friends. For the last four years we have had an illegal immigrant in the White House and for too long we have had illegal’s running wild across this great land of theirs. Now that Mitt Romney is the presumptive nominee, he is asking for our help. It is time we gave it to him.

America needs to return to its former glory when people came to this country with pride and respect for themselves. Republican’s have showed us these past four years how we as immigrants have lost sight of that. Mitt Romney represents the kind of return to good old fashioned American values and tradition that made America great. Now Romney and the Republicans need our help to make it even better.

As President, Mitt Romney, like all Republicans, will be true to his word on many issues. As a family man, Mr. Romney is already putting into place a plan that will encourage millions of Latinos to return to their homeland and to their families to tell them first hand what a great country America has become. He will also encourage greater safety for Latinos by providing us with identification papers, just like every other American. He will also encourage our people to learn the language of our adopted home, and will even work extra hard to help us to loose the accent. I think that is great! A President who wants to see us get ahead on such a grand scale; a President of inclusion who wants us to feel just like every other American citizen.

On election day, vote for the one man who truly understands what it is like to be an underdog, to be an outsider, to know hardships and the struggle for equality and fairness. Vote for the man whose dream it is to bring us all together.

Vote Mitt! You won’t be sorry.

Mitt Romney 2012 – A Better America.
Paid for by Hopelessly Misinformed Latino’s For Romney. 

My New 2012 Republican Bumper Sticker

By tmcbpatriot | April 27, 2012 | No Comments

 

Click the image for a larger view. Want this as a bumper sticker?
Let me know!

Just Thinking Out Loud

By tmcbpatriot | April 22, 2012 | 2 Comments

Things I can buy legally in the U.S.:

Mako Glock to Carbine (PDW) Conversion Kit with Folding Stock 

“Convert pistols to compact PDW weapons. Increases effectiveness of pistols in a concealable package smaller than a Micro Uzi. Designed for use with or without suppressor. Disclaimer : If you own a host pistol and buy this product, your pistol will become a short-barreled rifle. You must first register your pistol with the ATFE using ATFE Form 1.”

“During 2006-2007, a total of 25,423 firearm homicides and 34,235 firearm suicides occurred among U.S. residents. These national totals include 4,166 firearm homicides and 1,446 firearm suicides among youths aged 10–19 years; the rate of firearm homicides among youths slightly exceeded the rate among persons of all ages.”

Things I Can’t Buy Legally:

“Cannabis has psychoactive and physiological effects when consumed. Aside from a subjective change in perception and, most notably, mood, the most common short-term physical and neurological effects include increased heart rate, lowered blood pressure, impairment of short-term and working memory. Long-term effects are less clear.”

“Deaths associated to cannabis overdose are exceptionally rare.”

Weird, Right?

Ted Nugent – This Emperor Wears No Loincloths

By tmcbpatriot | April 22, 2012 | No Comments

This past week we saw the passing of two legends in the form of Dick Clark and Levon Helm. Both contributed, in their own way, to the quality of American music and they will not be forgotten.

This past week we also saw another “legend” in the news. I am talking about Ted Nugent. That I mention him in the same breath as the other two is mere coincidence. But this week Uncle Ted, who normally gets a pass from me in terms of wasted effort belittling him on his insanity and ignorance, crossed over into new territory with his Obama threats. For that I have to say a few things, if for nothing else then to feel good belittling him. It’s been a long time coming. I am sure he won’t read this, but who cares? It will feel good.

Here goes…

I have never owned a Ted Nugent record, nor have I ever known anyone who has. My Ted Nugent knowledge never got further than Wango Tango and Cat Scratch Fever, and that was only because in 1985 MTV played whatever it could get its hands on. You can’t blame them really.

Now if this makes me sound like a music snob then to that I say you have never really listened to Ted Nugent, have you? To consider someone a music snob who doesn’t like Ted Nugent’s is like calling someone a food snob because they don’t eat at Popeye’s. I have always considered myself someone with good taste when it comes to music. I will not list my favs here, but suffice it to say Ted Nugent is not one of em’.

Another important thing to note about “The Motor City” Douchebag is that Ted wants you to think he really care about our country and will do anything to protect it. For example, this past week Ted threatened President Obama by saying he would either be “dead or in jail this time next year” if Obama is elected President and that if that happens America will be a suburb of Indonesia next year.

Now, when I heard this I thought:

1. Nugent seems to have forgotten that Obama has been President these last four years and has not yet turned us into a suburb of Indonesia, nor has he taken away Ted’s right to threaten a sitting President and not get thrown into jail as a result.
2. Ted does not see the irony in the fact that he is making incendiary comments on a live radio show while being simulcast on video about a President who wants to take everyone’s guns away at a fu**ing NRA convention! Did any of the morons standing there notice this irony? Of course not! That gun loving, small penis brigade would first have to know what that word meant!
3. Ted is sincere in his threats, but just takes a long time to get it done. These first four years were just the planning stage. It’s those next four year we have to worry about. RIght Ted? UhHuh. I thought so.

Referring to [then] Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm, [Nugent] would frequently interject “Jennifer Granholm, kiss my ass” into his songs, and shoot an arrow at her likeness [during performances]. In a 2007 interview, in discussing running for governor of Michigan, he stated that Granholm “is not doing an ugly job, but as the perfect woman, she is scrotumless”.

“That would be beautiful,” Nugent said when asked if he would run for governor of Michigan in 2010. “I have threatened to do so and I was sincere.”

Turns out, “threatening” to run for office is the same for Ted as threatening to make a decent record. Neither will ever happen.

Another group Ted loves to threaten is that of the animal world. Surprisingly, as an animal killer Ted is quite good…well sort of.

Ted has been threatening animal life for some time. An avid bow hunter, Ted wants you to believe he is a master of the outdoors. He even has a show whose title I will not name or link to here. But in it he shoots all kinds of things until they are no longer a threat to him. He kills elephants, mountain lions, tigers, deer, and even bears. In fact, he recently had to pay a fine for killing one illegally.

Nugent, 63, was on Alaska’s Sukkwan Island in May 2009 filming an episode of his Outdoor Channel television show. According to court documents, he was bow hunting near a bait station designed to attract black bears when he fired an arrow that wounded a bear, which then ran off.

Nugent failed to locate and harvest the wounded black bear…and then four days later, he shot and killed another black bear at one of the registered bait sites and then transported it off the island.

The problem: Alaska hunting regulations say the first wounded bear fulfilled his bag limit; the second one was an illegal kill. Transporting it off the island made it a violation of the federal Lacey Act.

Ted is very much like any typical, modern-day, tough guy, hunter. He hunts with the most sophisticated weapons and is so out of shape that he will never track an animal or actually “hunt” it. Instead, he and his buddies will sit around waiting for game to come to them. But even doing that Ted manages to do it poorly:

August 20, 2010, MARYSVILLE, Calif. — Ted Nugent says he should have been better informed about California game laws after pleading no contest to misdemeanor charges of deer-baiting.

California game wardens watching [Nugent's hunting show] saw Nugent kill an immature buck during the hunt in Northern California. Investigators found that the deer had been eating bait before being killed. Baiting wildlife is illegal in California.

Was Nugent planning to use bait to lure President Obama to his demise too?

What about this guy:

“And in my mind, I’m going why can’t I just shoot this [Hate Krishna] guy in the spine right now; shoot him in the spine, explain the facts of life to him. — WRIF-FM, Detroit, Ted Nugent as guest D.J., Sept. 28, 1990

Or these people? 

“You want to know how to get peace, love and understanding? Who doesn’t know this? The Ku-Klux-Klan? The Black Panthers? Child rapists? How do you get peace, love and understanding? First of all you have to find all the bad people. Then you kill them.”

You see, Ted likes to threaten people all the time. He is a regular tough guy. But the question I keep asking myself is, how can someone who threatens so many with death be such a damn wuss?

Then I realize that Ted Nugent is very much representative of the typical American. He is loud and rude, he won’t go off to fight a war (a must read by the way), he has never run for public office even after “threatening” to do so, and doesn’t have the stamina or the brains to outsmart a deer without luring it to within fifty feet using bait. This does not sound to me like the rock god, tough guy, killer Ted wants you to think he is.

In reality, and at the end of the day, Ted is nothing more than a loud, angry old man luring non-thinkers at NRA conventions in for the kill, much like those poor animals unlucky enough to find his bait. What nobody seems to notice though is that this emperor is wearing no clothes, not even a loincloth.

In fact, when Ted doubled down on his Obama threats by saying he was like “a black Jew at a Nazi-Klan rally, and the Secret Service felt it time to pay him a visit, Ted responded by walking back his threats saying that “by no stretch of the imagination did I threaten anyone’s life, or hint at violence or mayhem…Metaphors needn’t be explained to educated people.”

In other words, don’t expect to hear any threatening words coming out of Ted’s mouth about the President or anyone else in power anytime soon. Seems the one group who Ted loves to act tough around told him to STFU and, by god, he STFU’d! Go figure.

An elephant can’t fight back. A tiger is dead before it even knows what hit it. As for people, Ted is no more a killer than you or I. He dodged the draft and never spent a day fighting for his country any more than I have. He is just another nutty guy with a microphone and an audience who simply can’t resist his bait.

Wang Dang Sweet Poontang!

 

 

A Moment of Non-Silence for Levon Helm

By tmcbpatriot | April 19, 2012 | 1 Comment

Farewell to a great musician, singer, songwriter, drummer…You made Turkey Scratch proud!

Hi-Ho Romney!

By tmcbpatriot | April 12, 2012 | No Comments

If that sky is any indication, Mitt might actually be one of the four horsemen. Or maybe he is riding in to help the unemployed, or just to hang with the regular folks…if it were 1850!

But he does love horses. Here he is talking about them with Sean Hannity. If you haven’t seen it, it is a must.

Hey Republicans! Are you paying attention? Here is a caption for you: “Mitt Romney rides his horse up to the pump to protest the high gas prices that Obama is forcing down our throats.”

 

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Recent Posts

• An Open Letter To The World
• America Has A Poll Up Its Arse
• Will Blacks Choose Religion Over Reality? Um…No.
• Shock and Sadness – Adam Yauch Dies at 47
• Hopelessly Misinformed Latino’s For Romney
• My New 2012 Republican Bumper Sticker
• Just Thinking Out Loud
• Ted Nugent – This Emperor Wears No Loincloths
• A Moment of Non-Silence for Levon Helm
• Hi-Ho Romney!

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