By tmcbpatriot | October 30, 2012 | No Comments
Good evening, my fellow Americans. As you all know by now Hurricane Sandy is fast approaching the eastern United States. Its impact is said to be unprecedented and devastating. I want you all to know that I am with you, all 100% of you, in spirit and in prayer.
As you know, as President I have made a lot of changes since I took office. One of them was to end what we used to know as the Federal Emergency Management Agency or FEMA. This, along with PBS and NPR, was an immoral economic drain on our economy and added many millions of dollars to our multi trillion dollar national debt. As I said during the Republican primaries, this is debt that was being passed on to our kids knowing full well that we’ll all be dead and gone before it’s paid off.
As President, I am proud to say that I have kept my promise to you, the American people. I ripped FEMA from the governments irresponsible grasp and sent it back to where it belongs, to the states and more importantly, to private companies. Many of these companies have since become very successful and profitable. As a result they have also hired many Americans to do the work that the government used to do.
Now, for just a few dozen dollars per day, you and your family are fully protected from most natural and man-made disasters, 24/7. In fact, I am sure many of these companies are busy right now working hard to ensure that all of their subscribers are getting the utmost care and attention. Those who are not yet covered, you can call them right now or go onto the Googles to find a company in your area and a disaster plan that is right for you and your loved ones. If the lines are busy, keep trying. If your power is down go to a friend or neighbor and ask to use their phone or internets. Remember, for as long as this storm lasts we are all in this together.
Believe me when I tell you too that these companies do a heckuva job.
As the worst of the storm is overhead, Ann and I will be monitoring it from the White House. We will make sure that our children are safe and out of harms way and pray that yours are too. We are confident that the private disaster relief companies that we helped to create, as well as your state and local officials, will be there to help you through this. Remember too that these great American companies accept all major credit cards and will not bill you until after the danger has passed.
Ann, the boys and I are proud of you, America. Now stay safe, stay dry, and most importantly best of luck. Thank you.
– UPDATE: Sandy cost may hit $50 billion – Thinking some 0% interest credit cards might be a good idea right about now.
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