By tmcbpatriot | March 27, 2012 | 1 Comment
Hello. Hoodie here. Now don’t be alarmed. I am not here to hurt you. I simply wanted to take this opportunity to set the record straight on a few things involving me, in light of the recent news events in Florida. Now to start with, I know what you are thinking. I am up to no good, right? But that is what I wanted to talk to you about. You see, despite what you have been hearing these past weeks, the hoodies of America are not all that bad.
The other day I was watching FOX and saw this horrible man with a thick mustache saying how we were somehow responsible for the shooting death of this poor kid, Trayvon Martin. I was so saddened and quite appalled that this odd looking fellow would say such a horrible thing about us. What did we ever do to him, or to anyone for that matter?
I mean, do we not keep you dry in the rain? Do we not offer breathability for runners on a cool spring morning? Do we not offer pockets and a means of something quick to throw on late at night when throwing out the garbage? Do girls not look totally hot wearing noting but us after sex? I mean, why are we getting such a bad rap for such a senseless killing?
I remember back when I was young. It was such a simpler time. Back then we were called sweat jackets or pull-overs. Remember that? I sure do. We were just benign articles of clothing used by athletes and young kids who wanted something they could easily tie around their waists when they got overheated. Something changed though as I got older. Personally, I blame P. Diddy, or whatever he calls himself now. He made us into some sort of fashion article. I have even seen sweat jackets selling for hundres of dollars because of that guy. Can you believe that? A sweat jacket going that much? I would never have imagined.
After that things started to change for us. We started to become “cool” to wear, and by cool I don’t mean lightweight in the fall. Then, somewhere along the line someone changed our name to “hoodie.” Sure we have a hood and it is very versatile and practical, but it was never meant to be something sinister! And “hoodie”? Really? That sounds like we are from the ghetto. Or perhaps it was meant as a nod to the criminals of old known as “hoods,” for all you youngsters out there.
Ok, sure, our pockets have always been convenient repositories for dime bags, but I ask you, is that our fault? As far as I am concerned, and you can call me an old sweater, but we are still the same innocent, comfortable, simple old sweat jackets.
So I ask you, how can anyone blame us as the reason a kid was shot to death? If you recall, Rocky wore into the ring before his many fights with Apollo Creed and we cheered him on. Jesus wore us too and we are still talking about him. Heck, the Unabomber wore us and nobody even noticed that he was leaving mail bombs on people’s doorsteps!
Sure we will always have our rotten apples like the Evil Emperor, Darth Maul and the Grim Reaper. But we knew they were evil. Personally, I always hated that they chose to wear us instead of vampire capes or something. But again, is that our fault? At the end of the day we are just cotton people!
Look, all I am trying to do here is to try and change the public’s perception of us by speaking out during this troubled time. It is simply wrong to accuse us of having anything to do with people dying. We might be inanimate objects, but even inanimate objects have feelings! So please, Geraldo, and all the other haters out there, give us a chance! Try us on! Experience our comfort and convenience for yourselves. Go so far as to even try on our hoods. Pull on our drawstrings. You know you want to. I guarantee you will feel cozy, secure, and most of all, non-threatening.
However, if after that you are not completely satisfied then just return us. We would rather be back on the rack than be owned by haters, or worse, shot at by people who have no idea what they are missing.
Thanks for listening. Hoodie out!
By tmcbpatriot | March 26, 2012 | 1 Comment
Geraldo Rivera: ”I think the hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin’s death as George Zimmerman was.”
That explains everything! Pontius Pilate was a neighborhood watchman. Of course!
By tmcbpatriot | March 26, 2012 | No Comments
Ok, so I am not a lawyer or a legal expert by any means, but I do watch TV and follow politics. That is quite enough to qualify me to guess the outcome of the SCOTUS’ decision on President Obama’s Health Care Reform Law.
Prediction #1: Health Care Reform Law Declared Constitutional
Republicans go into freakout overdrive and claim the court is ruling from the bench and that we need to reform the way Justices are chosen. After that they do an expose on the Justices who voted in favor of it and give out their home addresses and phone numbers. The ones who voted against it are brought onto FOX “news” programs and every right wing radio show to pan the courts ruling and to promote their new books.
Prediction #2: Health Care Reform Law Declared Unconstitutional
Republican rejoice and say that this is a great day for justice in the United States. The Justices who voted in favor of this ruling are brought on FOX “news” programs and every right wing radio show to promote their new books. A parade is planned outside FOX studios in NYC.
The evils of the New Deal are brought back into the conversation for the week while Mitt, Rick, Newt and that other guy say that FDR was Hitler and that Obama is Stalin. Not that that would be news to the FOX “news” crowd.
Prediction #3: Health Care Reform Law Declared Partly Unconstitutional
The “individual mandate” is struck down as unconstitutional, overruling “decades of precedent going back to the New Deal.” The Justices who did not vote in favor of its unconstitutionally are hung in effigy, their children are made fun of, and Rush Limbaugh calls Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg a slut.
The part of the law which remains constitutional becomes the subject of scorn by the right wing. Commercials appear on TV with Mitt, Newt, Rick and that other guy shooting the Constitution while skeletons appear to speak as they say how they would still be alive if the whole of “Obamacare” were stuck down.
So there you have it. My predictions for the SCOTUS ruling later this week on “Obamacare.” Updates to come.
By tmcbpatriot | March 26, 2012 | 4 Comments
The other day I read that Allen West, Congressman from Florida, said this about the killing of Treyvon Martin: “I have sat back and allowed myself time to assess the current episode revealing itself in Sanford, Florida involving the shooting of 17-year-old Treyvon Martin…The shooter, Mr Zimmerman, should have been held in custody and certainly should not be walking free, still having a concealed weapons carry permit…This is an outrage.”
Did I say mad as hell? I meant outraged. It’s a funny thing though. The incident in Florida vaguely resembles another by someone Mr. West might know:
December 13, 2003
U.S. officer fined for harsh interrogation tactics
The commanding general of the 4th Infantry Division on Friday accepted a U.S. military investigator’s recommendation and ordered administrative action against Lt. Col. Allen West, who was accused of using improper methods to force information out of an Iraqi detainee [Emphasis mine]. Following a military hearing, West was fined $5,000 over two months.
As CNN reported about the incident:
“Maj. Gen. Raymond Odierno, the 4th Infantry’s top general in Tikrit, could have rejected the recommendation and ordered a court martial. If he were to be found guilty at a court martial of the two articles against him, West could have faced 11 years in prison.”
As it turned out, no charges were ever filed. Mr. West was given the choice of court-martial or retirement. He chose the latter, along with a full pension and his concealed weapons carry permit securely in tow, I assume.
As for the shooter in Florida, Mr. Zimmerman, no charges have been filed against him either. He told police he acted in self defense. There is a law in Florida called the Stand Your Ground Law, a law invented by gun loving Republicans like Mr. West, that actually allows someone to kill someone else in cold blood and claim self-defense.
My guess is that Mr. Zimmerman will simply say he was a “concerned citizen” protecting his neighbors from dastardly deeds. I wouldn’t be surprised if he said something like:
“I know the method I used was not right, but I wanted to take care of my neighbors…If it’s about the lives of my neighbors at stake, I’d go through hell with a gasoline can.”
Of course this is not something Mr. Zimmerman said. But it is however nearly verbatim to what Allen West actually said when asked to answer for his misconduct in Iraq. The difference here is that in Florida a man was actually killed in cold blood. In Iraq, West only pretended he was going to do the same thing, while allowing soldiers to beat the man for twenty-five minutes.
Republicans usually reward tough guy behavior, especially during war time. Many on the right have defended Allen West, so much so that he was rewarded for it in 2010 by being elected Congressman. So why then isn’t Congressman West defending Zimmerman?
West explains it thusly:
Let’s all be appalled at this instance…because a young American man has lost his life, seemingly, for no reason.
So to get it straight, Congressman West is outraged because of senseless violence. But what about all the senseless violence that happens every day in America, especially with guns? On that topic, West blames the left. No, seriously. He has said that “the left…uses [gun] violence as a call to eliminate 2nd amendment rights.”
Here he is saying it:
For people like Congressman West, senseless violence is the result of welfare and the left’s master plan to “take our guns away.” So then why the sudden outrage? Why is a Tea Partier, a proud 9MM gun owner, a hummer owner, a proud supporter of the NRA, and a man who committed a criminal act in Iraq and walked away scot-free, guns in tow, outraged?
Could it be because Congressman West — after having “sat back and allowed [himself] time to assess the current episode in Sanford, Florida” — was really just waiting to see how the FOX “news” crowd would respond to this story first? After all, this is a political opportunist. This is a man who nearly killed another man in cold blood and walked away with a pension. This is a man who supports racial profiling of muslims. This is a man who said that anyone “challenging me on my support to [Paul Ryan's] visionary plan to restore our economic security will be signing up for a suicide mission.”
The press reports on Congressman West’s outrage as if it is nothing more than an interesting news tidbit. Truth is, West and the shooter in Florida actually have some things in common. They both committed unlawful acts “using improper methods,” both got away with it, and both got to keep their guns. One even became a Congressman.
Now, if that is not an outrage then I dont know what is.
By tmcbpatriot | March 20, 2012 | 19 Comments
I enjoy watching Rachel Maddow and Lawrence O’Donnell fairly regularly on MSNBC online. I don’t have cable, so I watch these shows a day later at MSNBC.com. The great thing about watching online is that there are less commercials. That is to say, there is basically one commercial that is played over and over again before each new segment of the respective programs.
Now, for everyone on the right who hates MSNBC and thinks they are the liberal version of FOX, you can leave the room now. This post is not for you because it is going to dispel that myth post-haste. This idea of MSNBC being the liberal FOX equivalent is of course totally ludicrous and a bald face lie for a million reasons. But perhaps my favorite reason is the one where you look at the commercials shown between segments on both of these programs.
I won’t get into the ones for Merck because that is another story entirely, but if you want to suffer through it, be my guest. The one I want to discuss, however, is the one for Exxon Mobil’s Oil Sands project. Each time it comes on I cringe, and I am sure I not alone.
Here is the narration in its entirety:
America is facing some tough challenges right now. Two of the most important are energy security and economic growth. North America actually has one of the largest oil reserves in the world. A large part of that is oil sands. This resource has the ability to create hundreds of thousands of jobs. At our Kearl oil sands project in Canada, we’ll be able to produce these oil sands with the same emissions as many other oils, and that’s a huge breakthrough. That’s good for our country’s energy security and our economy.”
On its face this commercial seem innocuous enough. There is a nice black man with a pleasant speaking voice telling me over and over again in the span of a single episode of Maddow and O’Donnell how great oils sands are and all the wonderful things they will provide for our country’s future.
Sounds great right? Only, here’s the thing…
The narrator, nice black man, and “star” of the video campaign, is a man named Artis Brown. He is labeled on the commercial as an “engineer,” but here is his bio:
Artis Brown graduated from the University of Alabama in May 1996 with an undergraduate degree in Civil Engineering. He was hired by Exxon as a Project Engineer in Houston. He relocated to Richmond, VA, and then to Memphis, TN, where he received his MBA in Finance. After holding several marketing positions in Fairfax, VA, and Boston, MA, Artis moved back to Fairfax for his current assignment as the Global Recruiting Coordinator for ExxonMobil’s Fuels Marketing organization. Artis currently resides in Alexandria, Virginia.
Ok, so no conspiracy here. The guy is successful at Exxon. But isn’t it a bit misleading to say he is an “Engineer” without also disclosing that he is now coordinating marketing efforts for the conglomerate and a shill for fuels such as oil sands? The things coming out of Artis’s mouth are also unbelievably right wing for such a left leaning channel as MSNBC, not to mention vague and downright misleading.
Artis says: “America is facing some tough challenges right now. Two of the most important are energy security and economic growth.” As ThinkProgreess pointed out back in August, the spot “deliberately ignores any mention of the third related challenge that tar sands development affects: global warming.” Isn’t global warming a liberal thing? Why not mention it then on MSNBC? Right wingers? A little help on this one please?
Artis then says: “North America actually has one of the largest oil reserves in the world. A large part of that is oil sands. This resource has the ability to create hundreds of thousands of jobs.” Hasn’t this lie been thoroughly debunked already many times? Is the idea just to keep saying the same lie again and again until people start believing it? With the number of times Artis says it during one episode of the Maddow and/or O’Donnell’s show, I am guessing that is the idea.
Artis continues: “At our Kearl oil sands project in Canada, we’ll be able to produce these oil sands with the same emissions as many other oils, and that’s a huge breakthrough. That’s good for our country’s energy security and our economy.” Can you be more vague here Artis? The same emissions as “many other oils”? Hmmm…Do you mean lamp oil? Crisco oil? Olive Oil? Bath Oil? What “other” kinds of oils are we talking about exactly?
According to Imperial Oil’s EIA, “The [oil sands] project will be responsible for average emissions of 3.7 million tonnes of carbon dioxide equivalent per year, which equals the annual greenhouse gas emissions of 800,000 passenger vehicles.”
From Environment Canada: “The oilsands are Canada’s fastest growing source of GHGs.” The oilsands now produce more annual greenhouse gas pollution than all cars on Canadian roads and almost as much pollution as all of the light-duty trucks and SUVs in Canada…Canada’s deteriorating record on climate is well known and tarsands is a major reason for that. Rather than heed EPA’s concerns and address the problem in Canada, they have continued to lobby at the expenses of their own credibility.”
Cough, cough, cough…So let me make sure I understand all of this. Liberal MSNBC is giving airtime, albeit paid airtime and alot of it, to Exxon Mobile for them to push a message and an agenda that convinces an unknowing public to support oil sands for no other reason than to make Exxon Mobil even more money at our expense? Do I have that right? And this has been going on for some time. How Maddow and O’Donnell never mention this irony is quite frustrating for me, and I am sure I am not alone.
Nevertheless, to all you right wingers who say that MSNBC is the liberal’s version of FOX “news,” I give you oil sands and MSNBC’s blatant support for it.
Tell me again how this is liberal? Oh I almost forgot! Right wingers, you can come back into the room now. We’re done.
By tmcbpatriot | March 19, 2012 | 1 Comment
I will be guest blogging again tomorrow night, along with Michael Stickings and friends, over at The Reaction for a play-by-play of the Illinois primary. In anticipation of that, I want to share my thoughts on what will actually occur.
Spoiler alert! Stop now if you do not want to know how this ends. Although it is really not that exciting.
Mitt Romney is going to win the Illinois primary handily tomorrow. Write it down and then forget where you put the piece of paper you wrote it on because Illinois is simply not going to vote or anyone else. Sure there will be no short supply of Santorum lovers and a few Ron Paul nuts. Gingrich might even manage to get a few votes as well. But this is the mid-west and Illinois is as “mid” as the west gets.
Here too is what you won’t see. You won’t see a repeat of last week’s bumble-f**kkk in the southern racist enclaves of Alabama and Mississippi. No sir. No how. Illinois is much more straight laced in their conservative creds than in the south and Illinoisans always vote with their wallet in mind. Social issues? Please. Illinois is as corrupt as it gets. Illinoisans looking for a politician with moral convictions is like South Carolinians looking for a candidate who is sane. It is just impossible to find.
In addition to that, Illinois is also a pretty blue state. They voted for Obama in droves and have a huge black and latino population. But for all its blue state creds, Illinois has some fairly red ones as well. The state has no helmet law, smoking in bars was banned only after years of opposition, the city is one of the most racially segregated in the country, and guns run rampant on Chicago streets like it’s some old time western town. Chicago is also the home of the Chicago Merc where workers gleefully tautned the Occupy folks last fall.
Point is, red or blue, no matter where you live in the state, anything can be yours for the right price. In other words, in Illinois the pocketbook rules, period! Illinois is also a real working town. It is not a place where people get too hung up on social issues like abortion, gays, porn, or contraception. Sure you will get some of that in the burbs. But at the end of the day, Illinoisan’s are taxed so much and nickel and dimed to death so regularly that they vote only for whom they think will provide the most bang for their tax dollars.
Today Rick Santorum was in Rockville, IL and actually said out loud to the folks in attendance that ”the issue in this race is not the economy.” Talk about out of touch! This is a man who knows nothing about the state he is trying to win. Illinoisan’s are not dreamers. Nobody imagines a Republican president or any politician for that matter doing a darn thing about the rampant crime, the shootings, fixing the crappy public schools, or lowering their taxes at all. Illinoisan’s have had multiple opportunities to vote for a Republican and even when they do nothing ever changes.
For Rick Santorum to even consider that Illinois Republicans care at all about the over reach of Government proves he is out of his league on this one. Government over reach in Illinois is what keeps the state going! Tomorrow’s primary election is not going to be about principles or morals. Illinois politics is devoid of it. It is simply going to be about voting for the guy who seems the most sensible in terms of dollars and cents. In Illinois it is the only thing that really matters. In Illinois it is about the economy, stupid. And with that there is no viable alternative to Mitt Romney than Mitt Romney. And that is how it will play out.
Now, for the record I want to emphasize that my prediction is in no way a vote for Romney, or any of the other Republican clowns at this or any time. I am only saying that Romney will win tomorrow and will go on to win the nomination. These are the cold hard facts. And just like with Illinois, the cold hard facts are something you simply cannot ignore.
Please join me and my friends at The Reaction tomorrow evening for live blogging of the Illinois primary and it’s outcome. Hope to see you there.
By tmcbpatriot | March 13, 2012 | No Comments
Live blogging over at at The Reaction Blog for tonight’s Alabama, Mississippi Republican primaries. It’s a hoot! Check it out!! Happening right now!
Come on over and join in!
By tmcbpatriot | March 13, 2012 | No Comments
By tmcbpatriot | March 11, 2012 | 1 Comment
Hi! It’s me, Ann Romney! How are you all doing out there in bloggerland? I don’t go on the computer much, I have to admit. Tagg showed me how to “log on”, as he called it. I am so square. My family makes fun of me.
So I decided to try this blogging thing after I heard about Kathy Limbaugh doing it. Can you believe all the problems her and her husband Rush have been having? Poor Rush. The message was clear enough, but my husband Mitt and I agree that Rush should have used a different choice of words. I asked Mitt if he would talk to Rush about it and he said he would. I think he called him a few times, but Rush hasn’t returned his call yet. Turns out, Rush is not an easy person to reach.
Anyway, after hearing about Kathy’s response to her post, I asked tmcbpatriot if I could have some space to talk directly to the American people. He was very receptive to the idea and said he would “throw me a length of rope,” as they say. I am very thankful for the opportunity.
It is so exciting to be here and to be riding this wave of excitement and support that you all have shown for my husband Mitt. I have to tell you, these past eight years haven’t been easy for us. I feel like we have been running for President forever. I remember when we started. At the time our third home had not even been renovated yet. It’s funny. Somehow I can remember dates and events by which house we were renovating at the time. But you should see the house now. It is really something.
And I am proud to tell you we do not employee a single illegal alien! Our entire staff, in every one of our homes, including the maids, gardeners, drivers, even the people who tend to our horses, come signed sealed and delivered, 100% Grade A legal! In fact, just the other day I was speaking to one of our staff. I can’t recall her name, but she told me how proud she was to be in America legally. I kindly told her “you’re welcome.” Isn’t that great? The American Dream is alive and well in our homes and we are so proud to be a part of it!
My family is so proud to be able to employ so many hard working people. It is a testament to who we are as a family and who my husband is as a man and as a candidate. I tell you, sometimes with all the people around us doing all their daily activities, I don’t even feel rich. Sometimes I feel like I am down there in the trenches with all of them. Sometimes I even help out. For example, the other night I was helping our chef open a wine bottle and we got to chatting about his family. His wife works two jobs! Isn’t that such a uniquely American story? I told him I also have two jobs. I look after my husband, which let me tell you, is a full time job in and of itself, and I am also a mom to my five wonderful children. It is the hardest job you’ll ever love, I always say. It really humbles me. And it is that experience that I will bring to the White House as your First Lady.
To give you another example about how normal we really are, I remember when Mitt worked in the private sector. He would come home concerned and depressed about all the layoffs that occurred as a result of some merger or takeover his company had to do that week. But my husband was and is resilient. By the next day he was singing to himself again, once more the usual chipper fellow I fell in love with. This is who he will be as your President. He is not distracted by pessimism. But he does have feelings and that is what I am trying to convey.
Too often Mitt gets a bad rap for being uncaring or cold. It is so false. But he takes it all in stride. At the end of the day Mitt understands that to make things better you have to have “creative destruction,” as he calls it, and then turn that into something better. That is his plan for America.
As my daddy used to say, you can’t enjoy mashed potatoes unless you first boil raw potatoes until they are soft, mushy and easily squashed. I never understood what he meant until my husband decided to run for Governor all those years ago. Now I understand it completely. America is that raw potato.
President Obama seems satisfied with America being a raw potato. But as Mitt always says, America needs to be transformed, turned into yummy mashed potatoes, as we often joke around the dinner table. As President, Mitt will ensure that America is turned into those mashed potatoes. To get there will take an entire nation working together to make it happen. I liken it to Mitt being the restaurant owner with all of you being the line cooks working hard in the kitchen.
Together we can turn America into a heaping bowl of mashed potatoes! Together we can make America yummy again!
Thank you all for reading. See you on the trail and God Bless America!
By tmcbpatriot | March 8, 2012 | 2 Comments
Paul Ryan is trying to instigate a fight with me. At least that’s the feeling I get when I see pictures of him in the news. Or maybe it’s just that he reminds me of this guy I knew in high school. I am sure you knew him too. This same face. A face that just had a way of making your blood boil when he walked past. A face that tells you everything you need to know about him.
For instance, I am pretty sure Paul Ryan drove this car to school everyday.
And those eyes. They don’t lie. This is a guy who, like my high school nemesis, had a shed in his backyard that became the “clubhouse,” the place where he and his completely obnoxious fraternity friends would hang out in summer and get baked while his parents were at work. It is also where he hid his pot and well-used bongs.
And like the guy I knew high high school, Ryan was also a wanna-be bully. He was scrawny, but he had a desire to be a tough guy because his fraternity friends were. However, as it always happened, those he tried to bully ended up handing him is a** because they were always stronger than he was. I am pretty sure his later years at the gym were a direct result of this too, that and his inferiority complex with having such a small you know what.
So here’s to you Paul Ryan. Thanks for being so damn obnoxious in photos that you remind me of one of the most hated people I knew in high school. I really appreciate it.
There, I feel better now.
By tmcbpatriot | March 6, 2012 | 1 Comment
Hi everyone. It’s me again! Kathy Rogers Limbaugh. The luckiest girl in tha world! Holla!! I wanted to write another post after my last one got such a great response. Plus, I wanted to give you an update as to how my husband is doing since he called that uppity college slut a whorebag.
I have to say, my husband has been having quite a week. All of those “liberal media elites,” as my husband loves to call them, have been going crazy over this whole thing. It is just to bizarre to me. Even a bunch of his advertisers have left the show, which is really weird because they are the ones who usually like what he has to say. I mean when Rush made fun of that guy from Back to the Future for having Parkinson’s disease nobody seemed to mind at all. When he said that the NAACP should have riot rehearsal and get a liquor store and practice robberies, nobody said anything then either! I mean, it’s not like alot of black people listen to his show. And if one happens to slip through the cracks, when they are not smoking it that is, then he just tells it like it is. I remember he told me about this one time a long time ago, some slutty black girl called his show to harass him. Rush told her to take the bone out of her nose. Lol! I mean, you can see why I married him.
So why is everyone so upset when he calls some college student who likes to have sex all day long a slut? And to make matters even worse, I am now being harassed! For example, I was shopping the other day for a new Prada handbag and this woman who I didn’t even know came up to me and asked if I was Rush Limbaugh’s wife. I asked her “Which wife are you thinking of because he has had four of them.” She looked at me like I just walked out of Banana Republic or something and stormed off. What a bitch, right?
My point is, I can’t even go into my favorite stores anymore without some slutty, contraception binging slut, wearing shoes from the Gap by the way, coming up to me and asking me things. It’s like I am being assaulted or even raped! I mean, my husband said he was sorry for calling that slut a slut. I told him he did not have to apologize to anyone for anything. I told him he should go onto the radio the next day and say that not only is that girl a slut, but that she also has no taste in clothes.
As usual, he didn’t listen to me. Later I tried to give him the cold shoulder when he came into the bedroom wearing nothing but his ratty EIB polo shirt. But he was feeling depressed as a result of all of this so I backed down. Plus he threatened to close my credit card account if I didn’t “give it up,” as he calls it. I mean, can you blame me? The cards are all in his name. I am not allowed to open one by myself. Sometimes that makes me so mad. But then, I am a girl. That’s just how it goes, right?
Oh well. Tootles!
By tmcbpatriot | March 6, 2012 | No Comments
This about sums up the excitement of the Republican primary…Sorry for the commercial. Wait for it though. It’s worth it. Make sure to get to the end too. Classic.
By tmcbpatriot | March 1, 2012 | 30 Comments
I felt it was time to come out of the shadows and respond to the hate mail we have been getting after what my husband said this week about women and contraception. By now you have heard the comments and are probably wondering, what kind of woman marries a man who says such things? How could a woman be willing to let a man who says such things kiss her? Touch her? Get into the same bed with her? Well, I wanted to let you all know the answers to these questions. I hope it sheds some light on the situation and opens up the conversation.
I am Rush’s fourth wife. Yes, lucky number four, as I like to refer to myself. Rush and I met in 2006. I was working as a party planner and Rush was working the party. It was love at first sight. What I mean to say is that Rush thought I was totally hot. It took me a little longer, I have to admit.
Once I got to know him better, I really started to fall in love with him. How could you not? He is so handsome and cuddly, and so sexy. Sure he was married before, but that is only a testament to his wild nature, something I really love about him. Like for example, his first wife was named Roxy. What a slutty name, right? She was a sales secretary at the radio station where he worked at the time. I kid him by calling her his Loni Anderson.
Following Roxy, Rush married a college student who was an “usherette” at a baseball stadium. Her name was Michelle Sixta. I joke that it kind of sounds like “Sexta.” He always cracks up when I tell him that. And boy was she a slut. She would use contraception without even telling Rush about it. Not that he ever wanted children. Why would he? Who would want those rug rats anyway? Life is too short and there is too much shopping to do.
Conquest number three for my Rushypoo was a horrid woman named Marta Fitzgerald. She was an aerobics instructor. Can you believe that? They met online. I mean, how slutty is that? This woman paid money to meet men on the internet. You know who pays money to meet men on the internet? Loser whores! That’s who!
People could argue that men pay a membership fee for online dating too. Just the other day Rush and I were talking about this and he had a great idea. If men are going to pay a membership fee to meet women, if men are expected to pay for this, then men want something in return — videos of all the sex posted online so they can see what they’re getting for their money. I thought that was great. I think he used that one on his show the very next day.
So all you sensitive people out there who are offended by how my Rush talks about women on his radio program, I say to you get a life! Rush requires a certain kind of woman to handle him, and it’s not you! Jealous? He requires someone who is not a contraceptive using slut. Someone who is willing to light his cigars, buy him oxycodone and hydrocodone, and someone to protect him from all the hateful sluts out there who just do not understand him.
So stop hating on my man! On second thought, don’t. All the hate on my husband actually improves his ratings. To me that means one thing — I get a raise in my al-low-ance! Holla!! And there is this cute dress that I have had my eye on. It is this short, hot little thing that is so slu….I mean conservatively classy. You would love me in it.
This Blog Post Now Featured On: The Reaction Blog. Check it out!
By tmcbpatriot | March 1, 2012 | 6 Comments
“Rest in Chappaquiddick”
“he was a f@#$er. a big ass motherf@#$er. this aint a 24-hour zone, baby. he was a bad, bad dude. & if mary jo were your kin youd be dancin’.”
“Kennedy was a special pile of human excrement.”
On Shirley Sherrod’s “racism”:
“I think the video speaks for itself…The way she’s talking about white people…is conveying a present tense racism in my opinion”
Other random acts of “journalistic” eloquence:
“This Idea Of Taking Off Ethnic Profiling Or Profiling Of Any Way Is Taking Common Sense Out Of The Equation”
On Janeane Garofalo: “Hollywood’s Sympathy F***”
“If You Want To Talk About Looks And Appeal,” The View ”Was Crafted … To Make Sure That Men Won’t Watch”
Code Pink: “[I]t’s no longer fun to watch them and they’re not even good looking anymore. It used to be that they were like, kinda slutty lefties…they’re getting long in the tooth.”
“Go After The Teachers”
ACORN “Helped…Set Up An Underage Sex Slave Operation”
In death everyone is a fearless hero. What about in life? Doesn’t that count for anything?
By tmcbpatriot | February 28, 2012 | 1 Comment
Watching MSNBC right now as the pundits count the votes in Michigan. Looks like Mitt Romney will actually pull it off and win the state. Whew! That was close. It ain’t over, but damn, I am just glad to see Santorum disappear. It can’t happen soon enough. I am just not ready to see Rick Santorum go up against Obama in November.
The Daily Kos tried to pull an “Operation Chaos” in Michigan by asking Dems to vote for Santorum today. That tactic did not help in 2008 and fortunately it did not work this time. And that is a good thing! I was not on board with the “chaos” idea. Sure it sounded like a funny concept, hence the name “Operation Hilarity,” but it is not a good idea to help Santorum.
Santorum is of course a horrible candidate. He is as dangerous as they come. Romney is no picnic either and I love to see him lose too. But after this whole thing is over and the real election starts there is just no way to predict what those no-nothing, so-called “independents” will do in November. I am not willing to risk that. Are you?
“Independents” pay attention to an election a week before they go to the polls, if that long. If they happen to be paying attention longer than that we call them “undecideds.” We call them that because after twenty Republican debates and who knows how many debates we will see during the real thing, these people are still not able to make up their minds. In other words, they are perhaps the most dangerous people in the country.
I for one congratulate Mitt Romney for his win in Arizona and in Michigan tonight. This is a potential disaster avoided, at least for this week. Sure Santorum will say he won no matter the outcome and will go on to say more crazy sh*t tomorrow. But that is just political spin. A Santorum loss is still a Santorum loss. For Dems that is a good thing. Santorum is too crazy for the general election. Romney is just a lousy candidate. I will choose a lousy candidate over a crazy one any day of the week.
Sure Romney will pick a VP who finally excites the base. But no matter, he will still be Mitt Romney. Plus, Romney will never have the ace up his sleeve of Jesus Christ in his corner and evangelicals may not be willing to bow down to Joseph Smith.
That said, am I worried? Of course I am. I am a worrier. What can I say? Romney is a hollow man. He makes mouths dry just listening to him speak. But November is still one hundred years away in political years and anything can happen in that time. Things can get real bad, real fast. But I would still rather have a candidate who makes my mouth dry while listening to him than one who makes me quake in my boots just thinking bout him. What about you?
Romney is giving his speech now. I need a drink of water.
By tmcbpatriot | February 28, 2012 | 3 Comments
No, this is not an angry mob looking at you because you just grew horns out of your head. It is actually a photo of Newt Gingrich supporters listening to his stump speech at a campaign event in South Carolina…Seriously.
(Photo: Christopher Anderson/Magnum Photos/New York Magazine)
By tmcbpatriot | February 28, 2012 | No Comments
By tmcbpatriot | February 26, 2012 | 2 Comments
Romney is desperate right about now. Really desperate. Here’s a guy who can’t draw a crowd larger than a local theater production, may lose his home state of Michigan to Santorum even after spending millions there, and is definitely losing to Santorum on the religion thing. So it seems to me that converting to Christianity may be the only thing left for Romney to try. That and perhaps few sweater vests of course.
So how did it come to this? Well, let’s review it in a context we can probably all relate to in order to understand why it may be his only hope.
Imagine you are Mitt and you are interviewing for an important and powerful job within your organization. The former CEO is leaving next January and you have been pegged as his replacement. You were considered a shoe in. Upper management pretty much assured you of that. Then, somehow, with everything handed to you on a silver platter, it all started coming apart.
As far as you knew, the job was as good as yours. You even had a name plate made for your desk and updated your resume to see how “CEO” looked next to your name. But then, even with all that in place, you were scheduled to interview with a whole bunch of people whom you had never met and had never worked with. Before long these strangers would be asking you all sorts of questions about why you want the job. WTF?!
To make matters worse, you then find out you are not the only one being considered for the job anymore. And you just cannot believe who is! First there is Rick, that bible thumping nerd from accounting who is somehow making an impression with the interview team. Then there is that squirrely guy from human resources with the weird name, Newton, or some sh*t like that. This guy is Dwight Schrute on a good day and who, office rumor has it, has slept with a few of the more fugly women in his department. Oh yeah, and then there is Ron, that creepy guy from the boiler room. But then your not really worried about Ron. Nobody is going to promote Ron, except maybe the other boiler room guys.
Now with all this going on and your stress level at a record high, you learn from “reliable” sources in the bathroom stalls that Rick has the upper hand in the talks thus far because, after all, he is a Christian.
You are taken aback. What?! You think aloud. Until now religion was never an issue around the office. Sure you are a Mormon, but they knew that going in, and you were still led to believe you were the one. You had always been a go-getter, you landed the big deals. You knew all about money and how to placate the money men. Ok, sure, no CEO for the organization has ever been a Mormon, but what about the CEO for the company across the office park? He’s black! Who the heck ever thought that was even possible?
So here you are dealing with this bizarre reality. You are dangerously close to losing the job of a lifetime, a job you have been expecting for, like, eight years! And you might lose it now…to Rick? Rick, who comes to work wearing those pathetic sweaters! Rick, who is always talking sh*t about gays and blacks! Rick, who even resents being interviewed by women! Who does he think he is kidding with that Christian stuff? But then again, he is gaining on you. Somehow he is has become a bigger threat then you could have possibly imagined.
I saw this clip the other from Morning Joe. The Rev. Franklin Graham was the guest and he said that to be a true Christian all you have to do is accept Jesus Christ in your heart. That sounds like a no brainer for you. How hard is it for someone like Romney to say he has accepted Christ as his savior? Obama did it and according to Graham, President Obama is not even really a true Christian! Well, he might be. Obama says he is, but as Graham puts it, “you’d have to ask him.”
You see where this is going? Think about it Mitt. At your next next interview simply start peppering your answers with Bible passages. When asked why you want the job just tell them you believe it is God’s will. That’s what Rick is doing, and everyone is going apey over talk like that. The folks interviewing you will slurp it up like maple syrup. I guarantee it.
So what have you got to lose? It is not like you have a problem with changing your beliefs on a dime. So what makes this any different? You want to win right? And don’t worry about your Mormon co-workers. They’ll understand. In fact you can tell them you are doing it for them. Once on the “inside” you will give them whatever they want. You know that. They know that. And if it makes you feel any better, upper management still wants you to be their guy. While things may seem out of their hands at the moment, don’t count them out over the long term. At the end of the day upper management is still very much in charge.
Remember Mitt, becoming CEO means winning at all costs. It doesn’t matter if you have no plans for the future of the company. Neither does Rick, or Newt, or the boiler room guy. Instead, talk about God. Talk about your godless co-workers. Just don’t mention that thing about converting dead jews. Instead, talk about the immoralities of contraception and how we are all doomed if we keep on fornicating. Stuff like that. That is political gold and sure to get your some much needed points.
And remember too, it makes no difference what you say, it is all in how you say it. Nobody is going to remember any of it anyway. But they will remember your being a Mormon. They will remember that right up to decision day. So do yourself a favor Mitt and convert. You don’t even have to leave any of your houses to do it. And best of all Jesus will loves you for it. And I don’t mean the one with the flowing robe. I mean Jesus the latino guy in the interview session who’s vote you really need.
Trust me Mitt. You will be glad you did. I know I will be.
By tmcbpatriot | February 24, 2012 | 1 Comment
Inspired by photo seen at Thinkprogress…
Maybe it’s me, but around this time in 2008 things looked a bit different for the candidate who would go on to become President. So I have to ask Republicans…How’s that “Hope-Y Change-Y” thing workin’ out for ya?
Image #1: Mitt Romney campaign event from today!
Image #2: Obama campaign event from 2008!
But then again…Hitler drew large crowds like Obama. Romney’s 1200 people proves he’s no Hitler. Hey, I am just trying to think like a Republican strategist.
By tmcbpatriot | February 20, 2012 | 2 Comments
I am proud to announce my inclusion as a guest blogger on the always awesome and informative ”The Reaction” blog. My first post made it there moments ago. Check it out when you have a moment.
The Reaction blog, “a blog on politics, philosophy, science, sports, and the arts — featuring news, commentary, and analysis,” is run by Michael J.W. Stickings, who also does the Blog Round Up over at Crooks and Liars.
I was first introduced to Michael after being fortunate enough to be included multiple times on the Round Up at C&L. Since then we have become mutual appreciators of each others work. It is an honor and a real treat to be included. Thanks Michael!