I Have Solved Our Gun Problem!

By tmcbpatriot | January 10, 2013 | 2 Comments

Folks, we have a problem in this country, but it’s not guns. It is something far more sinister and psychological and we must make a change before it’s too late, and I have the solution.

Recently, former NRA President Marion Hammer said this about guns and gun control:

“Banning people and things because of the way they look went out a long time ago, but here they are again,” Hammer said. “The color of a gun, the way it looks. It’s just bad politics.”

I read this and thought this woman is truly the MLK of our time. And as a result of her profound statement I have come up with the solution to this country’s gun problem. You see, it is not that we are afraid of guns, per se. What we are afraid of is the way guns look. This woman woke me up to what was right in front of my face the whole time. Guns are black!! If anything has personified evil in this country and throughout our history it is most definitely the color black.

So I have a solution. Change the color of guns to white! This is a truly groundbreaking idea, if I do say so myself. I am actually surprised nobody has thought of this before. Think about it. White personifies good and purity and is the exact opposite of black. Therefore, a white gun would be seen as a protector, a savior and an instrument of good sent to do away with everything evil. We can even take it one step further and only sell white guns to legal “law abiding” gun owners. This way we can tell who is a “good guy” and who is a “bad guy” just by the color of their gun.

There are still a few kinks to work out here and I leave that to gun manufacturers to figure out. But please, do consider this revolutionary (no pun intended) idea and use it for the good of the country. America needs this. After all, we don’t need less guns, we just need white guns. It’s that simple.

God bless America.

Responsible Gun Owners. Indeed! – UPDATE!

By tmcbpatriot | December 31, 2012 | 2 Comments

Earlier this week I wrote a post that received quite a number of comments. While I posted it here, I also cross posted it on the DailyKos. Since their readership is massive, the response there was impressive. Problem was, the comments missed the entire point of my post.

The thought behind my post was to confirm that “law abiding” gun owners who love to claim they are “responsible” actually are, but in more ways than one. If you are not sure what I am talking about, please read the original post below.

To clarify, the post below was edited to remove the offending sentence. I felt it was better to remove it than continue to distract from my actual point. However, so you are not left in the dark, here is the offending paragraph as it was originally posted on the DailyKos:

Now, I know that gun owners are a paranoid bunch and often not of a highly educated crop, but are they aware of the irony here? And can we on the left come right out and brand gun owners, NRA members, and anyone else who loves to shoot holes into things that did not have them nor require them, officially “responsible” once and for all?

In light of everyone missing the point of the post, I felt a need to publicly retract this statement. I also felt it was not really fair. Gun owners, like anyone else, can pay for an education, get a Masters, a PHD, whatever. Perhaps they have multiple degrees with honors. To that I say congratulations! I realize it was wrong to be critical of their education and the time and effort they spent obtaining it.

That said, I want to make a further clarification. What I should have said was that while gun owners are still a paranoid bunch, as there is really no argument there, I should have clarified that those who feel the need to shoot holes into things lack common sense.

Noun
Good sense and sound judgment in practical matters.

You see, practically speaking, owning an arsenal of weapons and the bullets to fill them is not common sense. It is dangerous, agressive and truly serves no greater good. Sure we are a violent people, that much is certain. But imagine if nobody had a gun. Where would we be then? Ok, so there would be clubbings, stabbings, punchings, maybe even bombings. But regular people just walking into public places and killing everything that moves? Not so much. That’s not to say they would not give it their best effort. However I am pretty sure the end result would be much different.

Now, once again I am sure most of the readers will disagree with me and be angry and tell me that I am offending them. Well, to that I say walking into a school and shooting little kids is offensive. Allowing people to own weapons that cause this much carnage on a now monthly basis is offensive and it is my right to speak my mind as much as it is for you to arm yourselves for some imaginary government takeover.

You don’t like my words? Tough. I don’t like your guns. So I guess that makes us both Constitutionally even.

Responsible Gun Owners. Indeed!

By tmcbpatriot | December 27, 2012 | 1 Comment

Happy? Holidays!

Not surprisingly we are ending the year with yet another massacre and once again we are reading about insane people who are troubled, off their meds, and/or mentally ill.

These are, as gun advocates like to tell it, not the “law abiding” gun owners we all know and love, I.E. Citizens who do nothing bad with guns except shoot paper targets, kill defenseless animals or, if you are a Vice President, shoot your lawyer/hunting partner in the face.  BTW, that guy is still waiting for an apology. It is an argument, however, that truly holds no water. After all, as far as I can tell most gun owners are “law abiding” up until the moment they open fire.

Another favorite word bandied about by gun advocates is the word Responsible. Every time some nut shoots up a room full of people gun advocates come at us with the same old line about how once again a few bad apples are punishing the “responsible” ones.

Then it hit me. These gun advocates are right! In fact, the word Responsible is actually very apropos for the gun culture. In fact, if we take a closer look, I am quite willing to get behind them all the way.

re·spon·si·ble
Being the primary cause of something and so able to be blamed or credited for it. Synonyms: liable – accountable – answerable

Now, I know that gun owners are a paranoid bunch, but are they aware of the irony here? And can we anti-gun advocates come right out and brand gun owners, NRA members, and anyone else who loves to shoot holes into things that did not have them nor require them, officially “responsible” once and for all?

We might even make some money off of their ignorance as well. For example, how about a t-shirt displaying a semi-automatic with the words: “I Am Responsible” or “Responsible Gun Owner” emblazoned on the front? Would they get the irony or would they simply wear it proudly, oblivious to the carnage these weapons inflict on a monthly basis?

Come to think of it, how about offering a subscription to the “gun massacre of the month club?” Kind of like the jelly, except instead of being the gift that keeps on giving, this one most definitely taketh away. On second thought, I am pretty sure we are already lifelong members in this club. Unfortunately for some, they don’t know it until their subscription runs out.

I wonder too, does being a “responsible” gun owner come with any actual responsibilities? Is it the responsibility of “responsible” gun owners to stop irresponsible people from getting their hands on a gun? Is it the responsibility of “responsible” gun owners to lead the conversation about gun control after a mass shooting? Is it the “responsible” gun owners’ responsibility to advocate for closing loopholes and/or fighting for more sensible, and dare I say, “responsible” laws?

Of course not. In reality, we all know that gun owners never actually do the “responsible” thing when it comes to being responsible. After a mass shooting most gun owners simply hide behind the Constitution while justifying the bloody events as just another price to pay to protect it.

Be that as it may, I think an “I am Responsible” campaign is long past due and well worth the effort. I for one am backing gun advocates everywhere by exclaiming that in fact you are all officially responsible; responsible for the carnage, responsible for nothing getting done after the fact, and responsible for placing us all into a reality where going to elementary school, to the movies, and even to put out a fire has become bad for our health.

Yes, I admit it gun owners. You are most definitely responsible. Are you happy now?

Legalize Plutonium And Allow Me To Shoot It

By tmcbpatriot | December 19, 2012 | 9 Comments

Please take a moment to read the comments on this blog over the past few days. The gun nuts are out in force and they cannot deal with the reality of guns and their place, or lack thereof, in our present society.

Makes me wonder what the world would be like if the founding fathers had written into the Constitution a woman’s right to have an abortion. Would these same people be lining up to defend the Constitution then? I would wager that they would instead be calling the founding fathers godless monsters who lived in an antiquated, backwards time that is long due for a change.

When it comes to guns, however, these same people are somehow proud of what is happening around them. It is as if holding one of these killing machines in their hands makes them tougher, braver, more confident. It reminds me of those people who trick out their motorcycle mufflers to ensure that we all know they are coming. It is, I am sure, all part of some larger issue related to inferiority, compensating for being bullied as a teen, penis size, or just some kind of violent view of the world that makes some people feel as if they need to announce themselves and show the world that they exist.

But make no mistake. Those who post insane, angry comments on this blog and elsewhere are in fact defending mass murder and those who perpetrate it. And in that same breath they call me and those who want to do something about the insanity of guns in our culture “nutjobs.”

In keeping with that, I thought I would make a suggestion that is in line with this type of thinking. I want to challenge those who think it is our right to own semi-automatic, 30 bullet capacity clips to go a step further. I challenge them to demand that we make legal a gun that shoots bullets made of plutonium. Better yet, an RPG that shoots plutonium tipped grenades.

Maybe it even looks like this and in the future anyone, hunters, teachers, maniacs, the mentally insane, a troubled teen, can own one:

 
To all the gun advocates reading this, just think of how large your penis will feel by owning such a gun. And think too about the possibilities of such a weapon.

Plutonium bullets would be awesome. Not only could you kill whatever you wanted to with this thing, but shooting plutonium would cause ever greater mass causalities as it spreads radiation out of the bullet holes to everyone within a mile radius. Tell me gun advocates, would you be against such a gun? If so, dare I say that would make you a communist, anti-American who is trying to shred the Constitution. I mean, after all, the founders never said anything about what a bullet had to be made out of, right?

So why not plutonium? For all I know the military already has such a gun. As for the RPG feature, once it is legal to own, these baby’s would cause incredible damage. Not only would large amounts of people…er…shooting range targets be slaughtered, but the building they are in will collapse too. For all the maniacs out there salivating over this, this could be done without ever having to look your victim in the eye. And no more bullet proof vests either. Hell, with an RPG shooting plutonium tipped bullets a person could take out an entire elementary school from the confort of their own car.

Does this sound insane? Am I taking this idea to the extreme? Well, then imagine if I showed an AK-47 to a bunch of seldom bathed politicians who rode horses to work in 1790. What if I was able to show those writing the Constitution a news article about 20 dead children two weeks before Christmas?  Would they think the 2nd amendment was a bad idea? Would these revelations impress upon the founders how short sighted their intentions were? Would they say I was some extreme nutjob or would they look in horror at what was to come if they did not come to their senses?

For those who put the founding fathers on a pedestal, I have news for you. These were not god-like heroes. They were just politicians looking out for their own best interest during a time when their biggest threat lived 3000 miles away, across a vast ocean. The needed help in defending this new land. They certainly could not do it alone. What better way to build a standing army quickly and get people to rally behind it than to put it in the Constitution? But given time to consider what the future had in store, I think they would have been shocked and appalled and perhaps come up with some other solution to the problems of their time in light of the problems facing ours.

But alas, that is pure fantasy. We have a 2nd amendment and many are convinced that it says we have the right to own any type of gun we want, even one that shoots plutonium bullets from 1,000 yards. If only the founders could see all of the children from the same elementary school being buried this week while gun advocates call me and others who support gun control nutjobs. Would they see the error of their ways or would they proudly hold up their firearms in solidarity and exclaim that this what they fought for? This is after all what they wanted all along, right? To build a new land where their children would be safe and where they could live out a full life, free of tyranny and strife.

Yes, I am sure they would be proud of what they have accomplished and I am a nutjob.

Guns: Providing Freedom And Taking It Away Since 1791

By tmcbpatriot | December 18, 2012 | 4 Comments

What a week, and it’s only Monday. Friday’s atrocity is starting to sink in with each new day  and it just gets worse and worse. I have not been reading a thing about the killer or the children or that crazed woman who birthed this maniac. I can’t. I think I hit my limit with this one. I honestly have to look away. Even reading the news is hard because every story is interspersed with a photo of a dead child who was my sons age. I stare at him while he is eating dinner and try not to imagine, but it just creeps in there and I have to push it away.

Now, I expected the nuts to come out swinging after this insanity and say their usual line about how it is not guns who kill people, it is people who do. Guns, they say, have nothing to do with it. It is an incredible feat of the brain to come up with such a theory. To say it without even the slightest sense of awareness or irony is simply chilling and maddening to say the least. These people go on to make comparisons saying things like pencils don’t make typos, writers do or cars don’t crash into trees, drivers do. One nut on my blog said this in the comments of my previous post:

Those guns killed no one, the mental missfit tool holding them did, the black trench coat, black brief case carrying tard killed those people and your liberal stench enables whackos like this to roam freely all amongst the general population. You dont like guns, MOVE.

I dare ask this insane person what happens to me if i don’t move. My guess is that he would shoot me. Another comment I received said the following:

Instead of getting guns out. bring God back in. take away cars too to stop drunk drivers.. give me a break pansy man up and open your blinded sheep eyes. the government stooped real low lately to get “gun control” in effect. next they’ll be putting chips in you to make sure they know where your at, at all times. and if you protest anything you don’t agree with thanks to”freedom of speech” your a terrorist. enjoy your communist socialist new world government.

Sure it’s incoherent, but what do you expect from the folks who brought us what happened in Newtown? These psychos have been railing since Friday about how we need more guns, not less. One insane person went so far as to suggest that what we need is to get rid of all gun laws entirely. No, seriously.

For the right wing, not even the senseless murder of kindergartners can stop these people from breathing their hate and paranoia into our lives. I wish there was truly a way to outlaw guns, even though I don’t expect much to come of it. Trying to amend the Constitution would be a herculean task that nobody would ever entertain. I just wish the people who write and speak such ignorant hate and who do so while hiding behind the Constitution would come to understand and realize that guns do not bring freedom anymore. That may very well have been the case in 1790. Today, however, a gun’s only purpose is to rip those freedoms away from us…permanently!

Sure it took a person to pull the trigger. But to say that “those guns killed no one” or that the government is trying to destroy our freedom as a result of gun control is just plain wrong. I am so sure of it that I am willing to bet those two commenters on my blog that there are twenty children, six adults, and more parents and siblings than I have the mental capacity to wrap my head around who would agree with me. On that much I am absolutely certain.

Can We Talk About Gun Control Now? F**k No!

By tmcbpatriot | December 15, 2012 | 14 Comments

It is with the heaviest heart that I write this post. I live in Connecticut and never imagined something so horrific happening so close to home, much less at all. But this is America, with her purple mountain majesties and easy access to insane weaponry, including those supposedly used in this latest massacre. Sources are reporting that “at least three guns were used — two pistols and, according to the BBC and AP, a .223-caliber assault rifle. If you have not seen what a .223-caliber assault rifle looks like, be my guest.

Normally I run a clean blog, but what the fuck? When is this going to stop? And what’s to be done if someone did decide that enough was enough? Well, unluckily for us we will not have to worry about that anytime soon:

Q: The President made a campaign promise to work to renew the assault weapons ban. Why won’t you stand up here today and say that that remains a commitment of his?

CARNEY: It does remain a commitment of his. What I said is, today is not the day, I believe as a father, a day to engage in the usual Washington policy debates. I think that that they will come, but today of not that day, especially as we are awaiting more information about the situation in Connecticut.

I mean, Jesus Fucking Christ! Is he kidding? Today is not the day to engage in the usual policy debates? Since when is talking about banning access insane arsenals used to kill children in cold blood a usual policy debate? Answer? Never!

We never talk about guns in this country, unless of course you are screaming about your right to own one. If you are one of those people, excuse me for interrupting you and imposing on your rights. Well what about my rights, our rights, the rights of those 20 children who are now dead? What happened to their right to pursue life, liberty and all that other bullshit?

Seems guns take priority over life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness…unless of course your idea of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is shooting up an elementary school full of defenseless, innocent, beautiful children whose families will forever be devastated. God forbid we impose on your right to do that!

Well, maybe one day we will. Just not today. Today, after all, is not that day.

Good Grief – The GOP In Mourning

By tmcbpatriot | December 7, 2012 | No Comments

Is it me or did something profound happen after this election? Obama won the election by a comfortable margin, even after all those hundreds of millions were wasted and FOX and the right wingers basically went bust in the process. As a result, I’m ok with letting events take their course, knowing that whatever happens will all be ok. I trust Obama, and after seeing him trounce the GOP I feel that much more confident in him.

I used to think Obama wasn’t much of a politician. I still don’t. I now think he understands how politicians work and he manages to stay one step ahead. Sure Romney was a bad candidate and a real jack-off, but Obama had an army waging total war against him for years and he still won. If that’s not leadership and smarts then I don’t know what is.

Furthermore, as a result of that leadership the GOP is now in total disarray. If we were to look at their loss in terms of the seven stages of grief, by my observation they are currently at Stage 4: Depression, Reflection and Loneliness.

“Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.”

A month after the election, Republicans still cannot believe they lost and the shockwaves are still being felt. New York magazine is reporting that Roger Ailes “has issued a new directive to his staff: He wants the faces associated with the election off the air — for now.” Ann Coulter is even facing her own version of reality saying that taxes for the rich should go up. After all, “We [Republicans] lost the election.” She said this on FOX and in front of Sean Hannity! Even Tea Bagger Senator Jim Demint is getting out while the getting is good.

Is this the end of the GOP? Hardly. They are stil as crazy as ever on the state level and bloviating about things they clearly do not understand. Nationally, however, the GOP is deflated. The blame is still going around and there is a lot of it.

Next year and the ones that follow may be another story. Maybe Obama will screw up. Maybe Hillary will choose not to run in 2016. Maybe Joe Biden becomes the nominee. Maybe Chris Christie loses 400 pounds. Maybe Marco Rubio will grow a few inches taller (we don’t elect short presidents). Regardless, for the moment the GOP has been castrated. It is as if, at least for now, they have become parodies of themselves. They have become synonymous with lies, paranoia and with the circus over at FOX.

I’m not saying the GOP has jumped the shark. That’s impossible. To do that you first have to be somewhat palatable. The GOP is simply adrift at sea with a blown motor right now. They’ll re-group, but not before completing the last three stages of grief: The Upward Turn, Reconstruction and Working Through, and of course Acceptance and Hope.

They currently seem to be going through the stages rather quickly, but until they paddle to land we can watch in delight as they struggle through it. The good news is they only have their bare hands to use for paddles and they are sure to eat their own on the journey back. Let’s just hope the wind picks up and blows them off course for a long, long time.

Let’s Get Ready To Rumble Or Grumble.

By tmcbpatriot | December 4, 2012 | No Comments

Back after a long break. I needed it. Seems like after the long election and then Thanksgiving, I just needed time to regroup. Also, this whole fiscal cliff thing is boring. For one, I am not an economist. On the other hand, all of it is nothing more than a show, much like watching WWF wrestling with the Republicans trying to be intimidating while the Dems clearly have them in a headlock and on the ropes with them gasping for air. No matter what happens it is sure to be entertaining and more of the same, I.E. High unemployment and no new jobs.

Anyone who still believes America is a job creator must live in an alternate reality where idealism rules or it’s 1942. Back in the real world, the days of wine and roses have long since past, as least for a generation.

News flash! America does not create jobs anymore for the simple reason that we don’t make anything anymore. Think about it. If you removed everything around you at this very moment that was not made in China, or some other non-U.S. country, you would be left naked, standing in an empty room and with nothing to read. You could read a newspaper, but then again you’d better not spend too much to renew your subscription. Newspapers are long past their due date.

Today we live in a world where we camp out for stuff not made here and then trample each other to get it on Black Friday. You watch it all and wonder how we could be in such dire economic straights while people who don’t appear to be rich are falling over each other to buy crap they don’t need and that was made in China. Then it hits you. Truth is, we aren’t in economic straits. Not our government anyway. Never have been. It’s all a farce. It is part of the charade that is politics in this country.

Throughout the election the economy was the number one issue on every American’s mind. Before that is was the war on terror. Before that it was “Bringing integrity back to the White House.”

This year, Republicans thought they had this one in the bag. Reading the news, editorial cartoons, and watching the teevee machine, it is clear that Republicans are reliving the election as if it were still going on. At the same time they are on the fast track “to crazy town.”  Through it all they are still posturing, obstructing and standing in the way of any attempt at progress.

You have to hand it to them though. This all makes for great TV and is a reminder that none of it is real. It’s all a show that Republicans created by making the economy their number one issue. After clearly losing the election they are now stuck holding the bag with nowhere to go but down. All they have left is Susan Rice and Benghazi and that too is fading fast. In other words, Republicans are in a choke hold and they are quickly turning blue.

But then again, Republicans have never been ones to give up without a fight. When it comes to power they are often the fiercest ones in the ring. But make no mistake. They do not care about Benghazi or some imaginary fiscal cliff or even a man named Grover who they are now throwing under the bus in order to make it seem as if they want to cut a deal.

Truth is, Republicans only care about winning back their majority back in the House and in the Senate, nothing less. With nowhere left to go they have no choice but to keep up their charade for as long as possible. After all, 2014 is right around the corner.

Now, maybe my cynicism is just getting the best of me. Maybe the election wiped me out. Maybe the year is ending, winter is settling in and I am just being grumpy. Maybe this election business, the fighting over Chinese made stuff and my writing this post from a hospital waiting room has just made me depressed. Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Just a routine appointment. As for the political outlook in 2013, that may need some IV and some serious medication or maybe that’s just what I need.

I Need Some Air

By tmcbpatriot | November 27, 2012 | No Comments

Man, it is hard to get back to the bullshit of politics so soon after a nice relaxing week off. But then again politics is so damn addicting.

I have to admit though, a bit of my delay is also attributed to hearing back from some online news source that turned me down for reasons unknown. They did however make sure to tell me that it could have been “including, but not limited to, quality of writing and knowledge of topic.”

I mean, Jesus! Can you stick a knife in someones heart or what? It is hard to read stuff like this when shortly after doing so I go online and read:

“By the end of the bloated 2012 process, Barack Obama’s victory proved that sometimes saying nothing is more than enough. That turned out to be especially true this year after voters warily gazed across the not-so-great divide at Mitt Romney and decided that Air Supply had it right. That sometimes you have to make love out of nothing at all.”

You know who said that? A former congressman with his own talk show said that! And yet I’m the one with questionable writing skills and knowledge of topic? A smart person once said it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Nothing has ever been more true.

So here’s to you Joe Scarborough. You have risen to the top while the rest of us are made to suffer for at least trying. Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving, turkey.

 

 

A Message From God, In Response To Marco Rubio

By tmcbpatriot | November 20, 2012 | No Comments

Ok, so stop me if you’ve heard this one:

A Cuban and a writer from GQ walk into the back room of a local community center in Miami’s Little Havana neighborhood. The writer then asks the Cuban:

GQ: “So, how old do you think the Earth is?”

Cuban: “I’m not a scientist, man. I can tell you what recorded history says, I can tell you what the Bible says, but I think that’s a dispute amongst theologians…I don’t think I’m qualified to answer a question like that. At the end of the day, I think there are multiple theories out there on how the universe was created and I think this is a country where people should have the opportunity to teach them all…Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to answer that. It’s one of the great mysteries.”

Ready for the punchline? The Cuban is actually a sitting Senator from Florida named Marco Rubio and he is one of my so-called “children” who think I was being literal when I said the universe and everything in it was created in seven days. And even that he got wrong because I “rested” on day seven, whatever that means. I mean, thanks for giving me so much credit, but damn…er…sorry, I meant darn, had I known humans would be so literal with my words I would have been more specific.

You know, when I said all those things back in the day I honestly thought people would take that information and really think about it. Instead, they took me at my word and now we have people like this Rubio fellow making me out to be some kind of comic book superhero.

I mean, think about it. What is more impressive, that I can create heaven and earth in a week or over billions of years? I would have thought the latter to be more mind blowing, but then again thank you for suggeting I am only 6,000 years old. Flattery will get you everywhere, and I do mean everywhere, if you catch my drift. Do people still use that expression or am I dating myself?

Now, I have seen this so-called Bible and it always makes me chuckle (you might know it as thunder). And this might also come as a surprise, but I see the Bible as more like a game of telephone than my actual words. You know that game? What is said on one end gets translated into something completely different? That’s the Bible.

Let’s be real. If I really could create all of this in that brief time, wouldn’t I have also taken the time to make people a little bit more aware of their surroundings? From what I understand the writers of the Bible thought the universe was as large as the distance they could walk in a day. They must have thought all I could do was make sand!

I have to say though, I love your depictions of me. You flatter me with the flowing hair, white beard and muscles. I hate to break it to you, but neither I nor my son are as handsome as you all imagine, or as tall. Plus, if I were able to create everything in a week with time left over for resting wouldn’t that leave me plenty of time to shave?

Sorry, I know I should not be so sarcastic, what with being perfect and all.

Anyway, I said what I had to say. Please, stop taking everything you read to be the gospel, pun intended. It is flattering, but it also makes me seem like a simpleton. I actually tried to make things very complex and complicated because I love watching scientists trying to figure it all out. But when those so-called religious people try to put all of my hard work into such simple terms, well, I get kind of annoyed. You forget, I created all of you in my own image. I have a reputation to uphold!

Don’t make me come down there.

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