Back from the manipulated, misinformed and misguided minds on the right.

Ted Nugent Dead or in Jail Countdown

By tmcbpatriot | February 8, 2013 | 3 Comments



It’s on folks! If you recall, back in April Ted Nugent said this:

”If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”

To make sure he is a man of his word, we are going to be counting down the days until he makes good on his promise. Let’s join hands and look forward to spring. It will truly be a rebirth. A world without Uncle Ted is a better world.

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (1) Interesting (1) Funny (0) Useful (0)

Wayne’s World – Excellent!

By tmcbpatriot | January 30, 2013 | No Comments

Waynes World   Excellent! takemycountryback“Wayne’s World!!
Wayne’s Word!!
Party Time!!

I swear it is getting nearly impossible to continue writing about gun control. The conversation, since Newtown, has just been off the charts ridiculous. Today, Wayne LaPierre, chief executive of the National Rifle Association, “will tell members of Congress…that law-abiding gun owners will not accept blame for the acts of violent of deranged criminals…and the government should not “dictate what we can lawfully own and use to protect our families.”

There are two things totally insane about these two statements. The first is the part about law-abiding gun owners not accepting blame for the acts of violent of deranged criminals. Now, correct me please, but haven’t all of the mass murderers of late been law abiding?  That is to say, weren’t all of their guns purchased legally? Does this not make them law abiding?

James Holmes – Aurora Shooter (No Wayne, not that Aurora) - “All the weapons that he possessed, he possessed legally…and all the clips that he possessed, he possessed legally. And all the ammunition that he possessed, he possessed legally.”

Jared Loughner – “The handgun used in a shooting that killed a federal judge and wounded U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords was purchased legally.

Adam Lanza – “The weapons used in [the] shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. were legally purchased and registered to Nancy Lanza, the mother of the gunman.”

In fact, according to research done by a few journalists at Mother Jones, they found that “since 1982, there have been at least 62 mass shootings.” “Of the 142 guns possessed by the killers, more than three quarters were obtained legally.”

So, Wayne, with so many violent people exercising their 2nd amendment rights with gusto, how is it that these same people are not “law abiding” gun owners? Is your argument that they were law abiding up until they pulled the trigger?


Now, with regard to the other thing you said: “and the government should not dictate what we can lawfully own and use to protect our families.” Um…Wayne, didn’t the government already dictate what we can own and use when they wrote and passed the 2nd amendment? In fact, did the founders not implicitly say that we can own muskets? Clearly the founders did not mean we have the right to own anything we wanted because they had no earthly way to know what type of arms would follow. So, since they already had muskets in mind when they wrote the 2nd amendment, that means we have the right to own them. I am pretty sure though that the founders, had they had them at the time, would not have simply allowed citizens to own whatever the hell they wanted. Or perhaps you think the founders were as insane as you?

No way….WAY?

And answer me this your heinous [uncontrolled laughter under the breath], what if the founders had gone the other way and wrote that we do not have a right to bear arms? Would this have been considered a governmental dictate? And what if the founders, with their “right to bear arms, were actually giving us the right to wear short sleeves?

Schwing! Excellent!

What is certain is that Wayne Lapierre is continuously allowed the floor to spew his thoughtlessness in the name of acquiring new members to his gun club. The media inexplicably gives him this luxury for free while Congress plays along. They are all complicit in his charade because even a politician or a journalist with half a brain could challenge him on his empty statements. Sadly, none of that will happen and we will once more be made to believe that this man is somehow joined at the hip with the founding fathers and as such the keeper of all that is right and just in the world. As for the rest of us…We’re not worthy.

Party on Wayne! 

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (1) Interesting (1) Funny (0) Useful (0)

I Have Solved Our Gun Problem!

By tmcbpatriot | January 10, 2013 | 2 Comments

I Have Solved Our Gun Problem!  takemycountrybackFolks, we have a problem in this country, but it’s not guns. It is something far more sinister and psychological and we must make a change before it’s too late, and I have the solution.

Recently, former NRA President Marion Hammer said this about guns and gun control:

“Banning people and things because of the way they look went out a long time ago, but here they are again,” Hammer said. “The color of a gun, the way it looks. It’s just bad politics.”

I read this and thought this woman is truly the MLK of our time. And as a result of her profound statement I have come up with the solution to this country’s gun problem. You see, it is not that we are afraid of guns, per se. What we are afraid of is the way guns look. This woman woke me up to what was right in front of my face the whole time. Guns are black!! If anything has personified evil in this country and throughout our history it is most definitely the color black.

So I have a solution. Change the color of guns to white! This is a truly groundbreaking idea, if I do say so myself. I am actually surprised nobody has thought of this before. Think about it. White personifies good and purity and is the exact opposite of black. Therefore, a white gun would be seen as a protector, a savior and an instrument of good sent to do away with everything evil. We can even take it one step further and only sell white guns to legal “law abiding” gun owners. This way we can tell who is a “good guy” and who is a “bad guy” just by the color of their gun.

There are still a few kinks to work out here and I leave that to gun manufacturers to figure out. But please, do consider this revolutionary (no pun intended) idea and use it for the good of the country. America needs this. After all, we don’t need less guns, we just need white guns. It’s that simple.

God bless America.

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (1) Interesting (0) Funny (0) Useful (0)

Responsible Gun Owners. Indeed! – UPDATE!

By tmcbpatriot | December 31, 2012 | 2 Comments

Responsible Gun Owners. Indeed!   UPDATE! takemycountrybackEarlier this week I wrote a post that received quite a number of comments. While I posted it here, I also cross posted it on the DailyKos. Since their readership is massive, the response there was impressive. Problem was, the comments missed the entire point of my post.

The thought behind my post was to confirm that “law abiding” gun owners who love to claim they are “responsible” actually are, but in more ways than one. If you are not sure what I am talking about, please read the original post below.

To clarify, the post below was edited to remove the offending sentence. I felt it was better to remove it than continue to distract from my actual point. However, so you are not left in the dark, here is the offending paragraph as it was originally posted on the DailyKos:

Now, I know that gun owners are a paranoid bunch and often not of a highly educated crop, but are they aware of the irony here? And can we on the left come right out and brand gun owners, NRA members, and anyone else who loves to shoot holes into things that did not have them nor require them, officially “responsible” once and for all?

In light of everyone missing the point of the post, I felt a need to publicly retract this statement. I also felt it was not really fair. Gun owners, like anyone else, can pay for an education, get a Masters, a PHD, whatever. Perhaps they have multiple degrees with honors. To that I say congratulations! I realize it was wrong to be critical of their education and the time and effort they spent obtaining it.

That said, I want to make a further clarification. What I should have said was that while gun owners are still a paranoid bunch, as there is really no argument there, I should have clarified that those who feel the need to shoot holes into things lack common sense.

Good sense and sound judgment in practical matters.

You see, practically speaking, owning an arsenal of weapons and the bullets to fill them is not common sense. It is dangerous, agressive and truly serves no greater good. Sure we are a violent people, that much is certain. But imagine if nobody had a gun. Where would we be then? Ok, so there would be clubbings, stabbings, punchings, maybe even bombings. But regular people just walking into public places and killing everything that moves? Not so much. That’s not to say they would not give it their best effort. However I am pretty sure the end result would be much different.

Now, once again I am sure most of the readers will disagree with me and be angry and tell me that I am offending them. Well, to that I say walking into a school and shooting little kids is offensive. Allowing people to own weapons that cause this much carnage on a now monthly basis is offensive and it is my right to speak my mind as much as it is for you to arm yourselves for some imaginary government takeover.

You don’t like my words? Tough. I don’t like your guns. So I guess that makes us both Constitutionally even.

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (1) Interesting (0) Funny (0) Useful (0)

Responsible Gun Owners. Indeed!

By tmcbpatriot | December 27, 2012 | 1 Comment

Responsible Gun Owners. Indeed! takemycountrybackHappy? Holidays!

Not surprisingly we are ending the year with yet another massacre and once again we are reading about insane people who are troubled, off their meds, and/or mentally ill.

These are, as gun advocates like to tell it, not the “law abiding” gun owners we all know and love, I.E. Citizens who do nothing bad with guns except shoot paper targets, kill defenseless animals or, if you are a Vice President, shoot your lawyer/hunting partner in the face.  BTW, that guy is still waiting for an apology. It is an argument, however, that truly holds no water. After all, as far as I can tell most gun owners are “law abiding” up until the moment they open fire.

Another favorite word bandied about by gun advocates is the word Responsible. Every time some nut shoots up a room full of people gun advocates come at us with the same old line about how once again a few bad apples are punishing the “responsible” ones.

Then it hit me. These gun advocates are right! In fact, the word Responsible is actually very apropos for the gun culture. In fact, if we take a closer look, I am quite willing to get behind them all the way.

Being the primary cause of something and so able to be blamed or credited for it. Synonyms: liable – accountable – answerable

Now, I know that gun owners are a paranoid bunch, but are they aware of the irony here? And can we anti-gun advocates come right out and brand gun owners, NRA members, and anyone else who loves to shoot holes into things that did not have them nor require them, officially “responsible” once and for all?

We might even make some money off of their ignorance as well. For example, how about a t-shirt displaying a semi-automatic with the words: “I Am Responsible” or “Responsible Gun Owner” emblazoned on the front? Would they get the irony or would they simply wear it proudly, oblivious to the carnage these weapons inflict on a monthly basis?

Come to think of it, how about offering a subscription to the “gun massacre of the month club?” Kind of like the jelly, except instead of being the gift that keeps on giving, this one most definitely taketh away. On second thought, I am pretty sure we are already lifelong members in this club. Unfortunately for some, they don’t know it until their subscription runs out.

I wonder too, does being a “responsible” gun owner come with any actual responsibilities? Is it the responsibility of “responsible” gun owners to stop irresponsible people from getting their hands on a gun? Is it the responsibility of “responsible” gun owners to lead the conversation about gun control after a mass shooting? Is it the “responsible” gun owners’ responsibility to advocate for closing loopholes and/or fighting for more sensible, and dare I say, “responsible” laws?

Of course not. In reality, we all know that gun owners never actually do the “responsible” thing when it comes to being responsible. After a mass shooting most gun owners simply hide behind the Constitution while justifying the bloody events as just another price to pay to protect it.

Be that as it may, I think an “I am Responsible” campaign is long past due and well worth the effort. I for one am backing gun advocates everywhere by exclaiming that in fact you are all officially responsible; responsible for the carnage, responsible for nothing getting done after the fact, and responsible for placing us all into a reality where going to elementary school, to the movies, and even to put out a fire has become bad for our health.

Yes, I admit it gun owners. You are most definitely responsible. Are you happy now?

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (0) Interesting (0) Funny (0) Useful (0)

Legalize Plutonium And Allow Me To Shoot It

By tmcbpatriot | December 19, 2012 | 19 Comments

Legalize Plutonium And Allow Me To Shoot It takemycountrybackPlease take a moment to read the comments on this blog over the past few days. The gun nuts are out in force and they cannot deal with the reality of guns and their place, or lack thereof, in our present society.

Makes me wonder what the world would be like if the founding fathers had written into the Constitution a woman’s right to have an abortion. Would these same people be lining up to defend the Constitution then? I would wager that they would instead be calling the founding fathers godless monsters who lived in an antiquated, backwards time that is long due for a change.

When it comes to guns, however, these same people are somehow proud of what is happening around them. It is as if holding one of these killing machines in their hands makes them tougher, braver, more confident. It reminds me of those people who trick out their motorcycle mufflers to ensure that we all know they are coming. It is, I am sure, all part of some larger issue related to inferiority, compensating for being bullied as a teen, penis size, or just some kind of violent view of the world that makes some people feel as if they need to announce themselves and show the world that they exist.

But make no mistake. Those who post insane, angry comments on this blog and elsewhere are in fact defending mass murder and those who perpetrate it. And in that same breath they call me and those who want to do something about the insanity of guns in our culture “nutjobs.”

In keeping with that, I thought I would make a suggestion that is in line with this type of thinking. I want to challenge those who think it is our right to own semi-automatic, 30 bullet capacity clips to go a step further. I challenge them to demand that we make legal a gun that shoots bullets made of plutonium. Better yet, an RPG that shoots plutonium tipped grenades.

Maybe it even looks like this and in the future anyone, hunters, teachers, maniacs, the mentally insane, a troubled teen, can own one:

Legalize Plutonium And Allow Me To Shoot It takemycountryback

To all the gun advocates reading this, just think of how large your penis will feel by owning such a gun. And think too about the possibilities of such a weapon.

Plutonium bullets would be awesome. Not only could you kill whatever you wanted to with this thing, but shooting plutonium would cause ever greater mass causalities as it spreads radiation out of the bullet holes to everyone within a mile radius. Tell me gun advocates, would you be against such a gun? If so, dare I say that would make you a communist, anti-American who is trying to shred the Constitution. I mean, after all, the founders never said anything about what a bullet had to be made out of, right?

So why not plutonium? For all I know the military already has such a gun. As for the RPG feature, once it is legal to own, these baby’s would cause incredible damage. Not only would large amounts of people…er…shooting range targets be slaughtered, but the building they are in will collapse too. For all the maniacs out there salivating over this, this could be done without ever having to look your victim in the eye. And no more bullet proof vests either. Hell, with an RPG shooting plutonium tipped bullets a person could take out an entire elementary school from the confort of their own car.

Does this sound insane? Am I taking this idea to the extreme? Well, then imagine if I showed an AK-47 to a bunch of seldom bathed politicians who rode horses to work in 1790. What if I was able to show those writing the Constitution a news article about 20 dead children two weeks before Christmas?  Would they think the 2nd amendment was a bad idea? Would these revelations impress upon the founders how short sighted their intentions were? Would they say I was some extreme nutjob or would they look in horror at what was to come if they did not come to their senses?

For those who put the founding fathers on a pedestal, I have news for you. These were not god-like heroes. They were just politicians looking out for their own best interest during a time when their biggest threat lived 3000 miles away, across a vast ocean. The needed help in defending this new land. They certainly could not do it alone. What better way to build a standing army quickly and get people to rally behind it than to put it in the Constitution? But given time to consider what the future had in store, I think they would have been shocked and appalled and perhaps come up with some other solution to the problems of their time in light of the problems facing ours.

But alas, that is pure fantasy. We have a 2nd amendment and many are convinced that it says we have the right to own any type of gun we want, even one that shoots plutonium bullets from 1,000 yards. If only the founders could see all of the children from the same elementary school being buried this week while gun advocates call me and others who support gun control nutjobs. Would they see the error of their ways or would they proudly hold up their firearms in solidarity and exclaim that this what they fought for? This is after all what they wanted all along, right? To build a new land where their children would be safe and where they could live out a full life, free of tyranny and strife.

Yes, I am sure they would be proud of what they have accomplished and I am a nutjob.

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (2) Interesting (0) Funny (0) Useful (0)

Guns: Providing Freedom And Taking It Away Since 1791

By tmcbpatriot | December 18, 2012 | 4 Comments

Guns: Providing Freedom And Taking It Away Since 1791 takemycountrybackWhat a week, and it’s only Monday. Friday’s atrocity is starting to sink in with each new day  and it just gets worse and worse. I have not been reading a thing about the killer or the children or that crazed woman who birthed this maniac. I can’t. I think I hit my limit with this one. I honestly have to look away. Even reading the news is hard because every story is interspersed with a photo of a dead child who was my sons age. I stare at him while he is eating dinner and try not to imagine, but it just creeps in there and I have to push it away.

Now, I expected the nuts to come out swinging after this insanity and say their usual line about how it is not guns who kill people, it is people who do. Guns, they say, have nothing to do with it. It is an incredible feat of the brain to come up with such a theory. To say it without even the slightest sense of awareness or irony is simply chilling and maddening to say the least. These people go on to make comparisons saying things like pencils don’t make typos, writers do or cars don’t crash into trees, drivers do. One nut on my blog said this in the comments of my previous post:

Those guns killed no one, the mental missfit tool holding them did, the black trench coat, black brief case carrying tard killed those people and your liberal stench enables whackos like this to roam freely all amongst the general population. You dont like guns, MOVE.

I dare ask this insane person what happens to me if i don’t move. My guess is that he would shoot me. Another comment I received said the following:

Instead of getting guns out. bring God back in. take away cars too to stop drunk drivers.. give me a break pansy man up and open your blinded sheep eyes. the government stooped real low lately to get “gun control” in effect. next they’ll be putting chips in you to make sure they know where your at, at all times. and if you protest anything you don’t agree with thanks to”freedom of speech” your a terrorist. enjoy your communist socialist new world government.

Sure it’s incoherent, but what do you expect from the folks who brought us what happened in Newtown? These psychos have been railing since Friday about how we need more guns, not less. One insane person went so far as to suggest that what we need is to get rid of all gun laws entirely. No, seriously.

For the right wing, not even the senseless murder of kindergartners can stop these people from breathing their hate and paranoia into our lives. I wish there was truly a way to outlaw guns, even though I don’t expect much to come of it. Trying to amend the Constitution would be a herculean task that nobody would ever entertain. I just wish the people who write and speak such ignorant hate and who do so while hiding behind the Constitution would come to understand and realize that guns do not bring freedom anymore. That may very well have been the case in 1790. Today, however, a gun’s only purpose is to rip those freedoms away from us…permanently!

Sure it took a person to pull the trigger. But to say that “those guns killed no one” or that the government is trying to destroy our freedom as a result of gun control is just plain wrong. I am so sure of it that I am willing to bet those two commenters on my blog that there are twenty children, six adults, and more parents and siblings than I have the mental capacity to wrap my head around who would agree with me. On that much I am absolutely certain.

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (0) Interesting (0) Funny (1) Useful (1)

Can We Talk About Gun Control Now? F**k No!

By tmcbpatriot | December 15, 2012 | 14 Comments

Can We Talk About Gun Control Now? F**k No! takemycountrybackIt is with the heaviest heart that I write this post. I live in Connecticut and never imagined something so horrific happening so close to home, much less at all. But this is America, with her purple mountain majesties and easy access to insane weaponry, including those supposedly used in this latest massacre. Sources are reporting that “at least three guns were used — two pistols and, according to the BBC and AP, a .223-caliber assault rifle. If you have not seen what a .223-caliber assault rifle looks like, be my guest.

Normally I run a clean blog, but what the fuck? When is this going to stop? And what’s to be done if someone did decide that enough was enough? Well, unluckily for us we will not have to worry about that anytime soon:

Q: The President made a campaign promise to work to renew the assault weapons ban. Why won’t you stand up here today and say that that remains a commitment of his?

CARNEY: It does remain a commitment of his. What I said is, today is not the day, I believe as a father, a day to engage in the usual Washington policy debates. I think that that they will come, but today of not that day, especially as we are awaiting more information about the situation in Connecticut.

I mean, Jesus Fucking Christ! Is he kidding? Today is not the day to engage in the usual policy debates? Since when is talking about banning access insane arsenals used to kill children in cold blood a usual policy debate? Answer? Never!

We never talk about guns in this country, unless of course you are screaming about your right to own one. If you are one of those people, excuse me for interrupting you and imposing on your rights. Well what about my rights, our rights, the rights of those 20 children who are now dead? What happened to their right to pursue life, liberty and all that other bullshit?

Seems guns take priority over life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness…unless of course your idea of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is shooting up an elementary school full of defenseless, innocent, beautiful children whose families will forever be devastated. God forbid we impose on your right to do that!

Well, maybe one day we will. Just not today. Today, after all, is not that day.

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (1) Interesting (0) Funny (1) Useful (0)

Good Grief – The GOP In Mourning

By tmcbpatriot | December 7, 2012 | No Comments

Good Grief   The GOP In Mourning takemycountrybackIs it me or did something profound happen after this election? Obama won the election by a comfortable margin, even after all those hundreds of millions were wasted and FOX and the right wingers basically went bust in the process. As a result, I’m ok with letting events take their course, knowing that whatever happens will all be ok. I trust Obama, and after seeing him trounce the GOP I feel that much more confident in him.

I used to think Obama wasn’t much of a politician. I still don’t. I now think he understands how politicians work and he manages to stay one step ahead. Sure Romney was a bad candidate and a real jack-off, but Obama had an army waging total war against him for years and he still won. If that’s not leadership and smarts then I don’t know what is.

Furthermore, as a result of that leadership the GOP is now in total disarray. If we were to look at their loss in terms of the seven stages of grief, by my observation they are currently at Stage 4: Depression, Reflection and Loneliness.

“Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.”

A month after the election, Republicans still cannot believe they lost and the shockwaves are still being felt. New York magazine is reporting that Roger Ailes “has issued a new directive to his staff: He wants the faces associated with the election off the air — for now.” Ann Coulter is even facing her own version of reality saying that taxes for the rich should go up. After all, “We [Republicans] lost the election.” She said this on FOX and in front of Sean Hannity! Even Tea Bagger Senator Jim Demint is getting out while the getting is good.

Is this the end of the GOP? Hardly. They are stil as crazy as ever on the state level and bloviating about things they clearly do not understand. Nationally, however, the GOP is deflated. The blame is still going around and there is a lot of it.

Next year and the ones that follow may be another story. Maybe Obama will screw up. Maybe Hillary will choose not to run in 2016. Maybe Joe Biden becomes the nominee. Maybe Chris Christie loses 400 pounds. Maybe Marco Rubio will grow a few inches taller (we don’t elect short presidents). Regardless, for the moment the GOP has been castrated. It is as if, at least for now, they have become parodies of themselves. They have become synonymous with lies, paranoia and with the circus over at FOX.

I’m not saying the GOP has jumped the shark. That’s impossible. To do that you first have to be somewhat palatable. The GOP is simply adrift at sea with a blown motor right now. They’ll re-group, but not before completing the last three stages of grief: The Upward Turn, Reconstruction and Working Through, and of course Acceptance and Hope.

They currently seem to be going through the stages rather quickly, but until they paddle to land we can watch in delight as they struggle through it. The good news is they only have their bare hands to use for paddles and they are sure to eat their own on the journey back. Let’s just hope the wind picks up and blows them off course for a long, long time.

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (0) Interesting (0) Funny (0) Useful (0)

Let’s Get Ready To Rumble Or Grumble.

By tmcbpatriot | December 4, 2012 | No Comments

Lets Get Ready To Rumble Or Grumble.  takemycountrybackBack after a long break. I needed it. Seems like after the long election and then Thanksgiving, I just needed time to regroup. Also, this whole fiscal cliff thing is boring. For one, I am not an economist. On the other hand, all of it is nothing more than a show, much like watching WWF wrestling with the Republicans trying to be intimidating while the Dems clearly have them in a headlock and on the ropes with them gasping for air. No matter what happens it is sure to be entertaining and more of the same, I.E. High unemployment and no new jobs.

Anyone who still believes America is a job creator must live in an alternate reality where idealism rules or it’s 1942. Back in the real world, the days of wine and roses have long since past, as least for a generation.

News flash! America does not create jobs anymore for the simple reason that we don’t make anything anymore. Think about it. If you removed everything around you at this very moment that was not made in China, or some other non-U.S. country, you would be left naked, standing in an empty room and with nothing to read. You could read a newspaper, but then again you’d better not spend too much to renew your subscription. Newspapers are long past their due date.

Today we live in a world where we camp out for stuff not made here and then trample each other to get it on Black Friday. You watch it all and wonder how we could be in such dire economic straights while people who don’t appear to be rich are falling over each other to buy crap they don’t need and that was made in China. Then it hits you. Truth is, we aren’t in economic straits. Not our government anyway. Never have been. It’s all a farce. It is part of the charade that is politics in this country.

Throughout the election the economy was the number one issue on every American’s mind. Before that is was the war on terror. Before that it was “Bringing integrity back to the White House.”

This year, Republicans thought they had this one in the bag. Reading the news, editorial cartoons, and watching the teevee machine, it is clear that Republicans are reliving the election as if it were still going on. At the same time they are on the fast track “to crazy town.”  Through it all they are still posturing, obstructing and standing in the way of any attempt at progress.

You have to hand it to them though. This all makes for great TV and is a reminder that none of it is real. It’s all a show that Republicans created by making the economy their number one issue. After clearly losing the election they are now stuck holding the bag with nowhere to go but down. All they have left is Susan Rice and Benghazi and that too is fading fast. In other words, Republicans are in a choke hold and they are quickly turning blue.

But then again, Republicans have never been ones to give up without a fight. When it comes to power they are often the fiercest ones in the ring. But make no mistake. They do not care about Benghazi or some imaginary fiscal cliff or even a man named Grover who they are now throwing under the bus in order to make it seem as if they want to cut a deal.

Truth is, Republicans only care about winning back their majority back in the House and in the Senate, nothing less. With nowhere left to go they have no choice but to keep up their charade for as long as possible. After all, 2014 is right around the corner.

Now, maybe my cynicism is just getting the best of me. Maybe the election wiped me out. Maybe the year is ending, winter is settling in and I am just being grumpy. Maybe this election business, the fighting over Chinese made stuff and my writing this post from a hospital waiting room has just made me depressed. Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Just a routine appointment. As for the political outlook in 2013, that may need some IV and some serious medication or maybe that’s just what I need.

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (0) Interesting (0) Funny (0) Useful (0)

I Need Some Air

By tmcbpatriot | November 27, 2012 | No Comments

I Need Some Air takemycountrybackMan, it is hard to get back to the bullshit of politics so soon after a nice relaxing week off. But then again politics is so damn addicting.

I have to admit though, a bit of my delay is also attributed to hearing back from some online news source that turned me down for reasons unknown. They did however make sure to tell me that it could have been “including, but not limited to, quality of writing and knowledge of topic.”

I mean, Jesus! Can you stick a knife in someones heart or what? It is hard to read stuff like this when shortly after doing so I go online and read:

“By the end of the bloated 2012 process, Barack Obama’s victory proved that sometimes saying nothing is more than enough. That turned out to be especially true this year after voters warily gazed across the not-so-great divide at Mitt Romney and decided that Air Supply had it right. That sometimes you have to make love out of nothing at all.”

You know who said that? A former congressman with his own talk show said that! And yet I’m the one with questionable writing skills and knowledge of topic? A smart person once said it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Nothing has ever been more true.

So here’s to you Joe Scarborough. You have risen to the top while the rest of us are made to suffer for at least trying. Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving, turkey.



What do you think of this post?
Awesome (1) Interesting (0) Funny (0) Useful (0)

A Message From God, In Response To Marco Rubio

By tmcbpatriot | November 20, 2012 | No Comments

A Message From God, In Response To Marco Rubio takemycountrybackOk, so stop me if you’ve heard this one:

A Cuban and a writer from GQ walk into the back room of a local community center in Miami’s Little Havana neighborhood. The writer then asks the Cuban:

GQ: “So, how old do you think the Earth is?”

Cuban: “I’m not a scientist, man. I can tell you what recorded history says, I can tell you what the Bible says, but I think that’s a dispute amongst theologians…I don’t think I’m qualified to answer a question like that. At the end of the day, I think there are multiple theories out there on how the universe was created and I think this is a country where people should have the opportunity to teach them all…Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to answer that. It’s one of the great mysteries.”

Ready for the punchline? The Cuban is actually a sitting Senator from Florida named Marco Rubio and he is one of my so-called “children” who think I was being literal when I said the universe and everything in it was created in seven days. And even that he got wrong because I “rested” on day seven, whatever that means. I mean, thanks for giving me so much credit, but damn…er…sorry, I meant darn, had I known humans would be so literal with my words I would have been more specific.

You know, when I said all those things back in the day I honestly thought people would take that information and really think about it. Instead, they took me at my word and now we have people like this Rubio fellow making me out to be some kind of comic book superhero.

I mean, think about it. What is more impressive, that I can create heaven and earth in a week or over billions of years? I would have thought the latter to be more mind blowing, but then again thank you for suggeting I am only 6,000 years old. Flattery will get you everywhere, and I do mean everywhere, if you catch my drift. Do people still use that expression or am I dating myself?

Now, I have seen this so-called Bible and it always makes me chuckle (you might know it as thunder). And this might also come as a surprise, but I see the Bible as more like a game of telephone than my actual words. You know that game? What is said on one end gets translated into something completely different? That’s the Bible.

Let’s be real. If I really could create all of this in that brief time, wouldn’t I have also taken the time to make people a little bit more aware of their surroundings? From what I understand the writers of the Bible thought the universe was as large as the distance they could walk in a day. They must have thought all I could do was make sand!

I have to say though, I love your depictions of me. You flatter me with the flowing hair, white beard and muscles. I hate to break it to you, but neither I nor my son are as handsome as you all imagine, or as tall. Plus, if I were able to create everything in a week with time left over for resting wouldn’t that leave me plenty of time to shave?

Sorry, I know I should not be so sarcastic, what with being perfect and all.

Anyway, I said what I had to say. Please, stop taking everything you read to be the gospel, pun intended. It is flattering, but it also makes me seem like a simpleton. I actually tried to make things very complex and complicated because I love watching scientists trying to figure it all out. But when those so-called religious people try to put all of my hard work into such simple terms, well, I get kind of annoyed. You forget, I created all of you in my own image. I have a reputation to uphold!

Don’t make me come down there.

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (0) Interesting (0) Funny (0) Useful (0)

Orrin Hatch Is An Asshole

By tmcbpatriot | November 15, 2012 | No Comments

Orrin Hatch Is An Asshole takemycountrybackSometimes I get so angry that I want to punch holes in the page with my pen. Unfortunately, in this day and age the best I can do is maybe hit all caps. So I will try that now:


Yeah, not really the same as physically destroying a piece of paper with a ballpoint, is it? Nevertheless, the screed before you is about Orrin Hatch, or rather something Orrin Hatch said recently regarding Never-To-Be-President Romney’s now infamous 47% remark. Apparently, Romney was at it again the other day talking about how Obama won because of all the “gifts” he gave to everyone who wasn’t white and already overloaded with gifts.

This is how Hatch responded when asked about that:

“It’s not 47 percent of the nation that is not paying federal income taxes. “It’s 51 percent!” Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) said Wednesday.”

“It was distorted because Romney did not explain it right,” Hatch said. “All he had to say was ‘Look, when 51 percent of all households — not just individuals — don’t pay a penny in income taxes, it shows that we’ve got too many people riding in the wagon.’ What he should have said is, ‘I want to get them out of the wagon in good jobs where they can also help pull the wagon.’

I don’t know about you, but this asinine statement gives me an image of latinos, blacks and woman riding huddled together in a old timey wagon drawn by government mules across the high desert plains. Coming from a man as old as Hatch it is really no wonder he would use such an archaic analogy. But then he is a Republican. This kind of imagery goes over well with the tea bagger crowd who actually want to be back in the good ol’ days of wagon trains. For the rest of us, this comment is a stark reminder, again, of why Obama is still our President and why Romney is heading back to one of his mansions never to be heard from again. One can hope, right?

Now, if you recall, after Romney’s 47% debacle the Governor shook his etch-a-sketch and tried to claim that he misspoke and that he actually cares for 100% of Americans. Yet, less than a week after his defeat he is speaking publicly again about the mooching class and how they pay no taxes and voted for Obama because of the gifts he gave them.

By the way, those gifts Romney was referring to were:

“free health care “in perpetuity,” which he said was highly motivational to black and Hispanic voters as well as for voters making $25,000 to $35,000 a year.

Romney also said the administration’s promise to offer what he called “amnesty” to the children of illegal immigrants – what he termed “the so-called DREAM Act kids” – helped send Hispanics to the polls for Obama.

Young voters, Romney said, were motivated by the administration’s plan for partial forgiveness of college loan interest and being able to remain on their parents’ health insurance plans. Young women had an additional incentive to vote for Obama because of free contraception coverage under the president’s health care plan, he said.

Nice gifts, I must say. Actually, reading this list does more harm than good. It kind of reminds people of all the good things they have thanks to Obama. How can you say these are bad? Who would deny that these are more than just handouts to a lowly bunch of non-tax-paying-low-life’s? Orrin Hatch would, of course. Hatch not only defended Romney, but he also threw these same Americans under the bus…er wagon…once again.

Here is the rest of what Hatch said:

“The problem with using that kind of percentage is when I’ve used it, I’ve gone through a whole litany of explanation to show what I mean. But you can’t tell me that the whole 51 percent of all households — that includes husbands working, wives working, maybe older children working — are truly poor. We need to help the truly poor.

“That does mean we ought to get these people jobs and have them make a good enough living, whereby they can help pull the wagon,” he said.

Asked what he meant by “truly poor,” Hatch said people had to decide that for themselves, but he did have some ideas.

“To me, it’s people who make less money than they need to really live on, or don’t make any money at all or are handicapped or are people with disabilities,” he said. “Sometimes it may mean senior citizens who do not have that much Social Security coming.

“There are truly poor people,” he added. “But 51 percent of households, which includes husbands, wives, children who work? Come on. It doesn’t take any brains to see there’s something wrong here, that we don’t have more people really helping to pull the wagon. And what’s wrong is not the people, it’s us for not getting the opportunities, the economic opportunities for them to get out of the wagon and help pull.”

Jeez, what an asshole! Makes you wonder too what Orrin Hatch thinks of the actual wagon riders who also had no jobs and paid no income taxes back in the day when they were just living off the land and encouraged by their government to “go west.” I am sure they were patriots just trying to make it. Today though, anyone just trying to make it is nothing but a lazy, low class moocher living off handouts stolen from the wealthy and dolled out by the government in the hopes that some of it falls into their government issued…wagon?

To this I say: America be thankful that a Republican did not win this election. Be thankful they had a robot for a candidate. Be thankful Orrin Hatch’s comments were said publicly and act as a sobering reminder of why more than half the country abandoned Republicans yet again.

Be thankful too that Orrin Hatch is a giant asshole. Even though I hate the man for what he stands for we can only hope that he and people like him continue to talk into microphones and dig their own graves deeper and deeper. Although the world would be a much better place without his kind we need them, lest we risk repeating the worst travesty one can imagine: Putting one of them back into the White House.

I for one say thank you to Orrin Hatch. Our country owes you a great debt for reminding us why we voted the way we did and what an asshole you really are.

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (0) Interesting (0) Funny (0) Useful (0)

The Republican Comeback – What To Watch For

By tmcbpatriot | November 13, 2012 | No Comments

The Republican Comeback   What To Watch For takemycountrybackI saw this brief story at Talking Points Memo that made me wonder about the Republican comeback and what that might look like.

The story read as follows: ”Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-WA), the highest ranked House Republican woman, said Sunday on CNN’s “State of the Union”:

“I don’t think it’s about the Republican Party needing to become more moderate; I really believe it’s the Republican Party becoming more modern,” she said. “And whether it’s Hispanics, whether it’s women, whether it’s young people, the Republican Party has to make it a priority to take our values, to take our vision to every corner of this country.”

“I think it’s more about the messenger and who’s communicating our values to every corner of this country.”

Such an interesting statement so soon after a significant defeat, but one that is to be expected. Should Republicans dare to go the moderate route and risk being laughed right out of town? Of course not. You can’t go from hating everyone who is non-white and male, applauding the idea of someone without healthcare dying, and talk about rape as being God’s plan to all of a sudden supporting gay marriage, caring about poor people, offering amnesty for Mexicans and respecting a vagina. It is just not believable.

No, something else has to be done to woo these same demographics into the Republican fold. It is absolutely necessary for the GOP’s survival, but it won’t be easy.

What Republicans need to do, and what I expect they will do in the coming months, is to lay off the gays, immigration, vaginas and poor people and instead focus solely on the economy and the size of government. These are steady, benign, non-racially charged issues that poll well with all kinds of people. Had Republicans truly stuck to this meme and not strayed into rape talk and bashing 47% of the country they may have actually pulled it off.

As a result of their huge loss though, Republicans now have to lay low. They need to go to the mattresses on the hot button issues that were soundly defeated this time around.

However, Republicans know that they still have the economy on their side. Nearly sixty million people voted for Romney to “fix” the economy. That issue has not gone away. I do not believe Obama was re-elected on the economy alone and do not believe the President was given a mandate on that issue. He actually still has a lot to prove to those red states and to those states where the vote was really close.

The reality is, Republicans did not lose on the economy. They lost on the crazy, and in keeping with Rep. Rogers statement Republicans do not know how to be anything else. They have turned crazy into an art form and have worked too hard and too long to just give it up.

Nevertheless, as with any loss there is some sucking up to do in the short term while they save face and plan for a comeback. To get those people who moved away from them this year, Republican’s may have to, as Bill O’Reilly so eloquently put it, give them stuff in the short term; gay marriage, legal pot, amnesty, abortions, school loans, higher taxes for rich people, leaving Big Bird alone. This will be bad medicine going down, but once they get past the foul taste they may find that the same people who would never vote (R) might see a party willing to ease up on social issues and truly work on what they are experts in: ruining the economy and starting wars. In terms of those two areas, crazy wins every time.

Of course this is not going to happen in the short term. The recent crop of Republicans who were ousted in 2012 is a testament to that. But then Rep. Rodgers ended her comment with what could be the most telling aspect of this whole thing:

“I think it’s more about the messenger and who’s communicating our values to every corner of this country.”

She may be right. Rest assured, one day some actor or evangelist or smooth talking, charismatic personality will arise once more to take back the party. It is inevitable. Once that happens, then everything I said is out the window. Let’s face it, the only reason Romney won the first debate was because Obama didn’t show. However, put Obama up against a Ronald Reagan or a plain talking simpleton like George W. and things may not go so well for Dems next time.

Remember, if this was really about voting for a liberal agenda then Al Gore and/or John Kerry would have defeated an obvious failure like Bush. But it was not to be. Remember too that Obama will not be running next time. Put someone like Joe Biden or Hillary Clinton up against a thinner Chris Christie or a good looking Scott Brown type with a pickup truck and things may look a whole lot different in 2016.

For now, assume terrorist looking Muslims will remain easy targets while Mexicans, gays and vaginas will become a little less threatening. But if someone comes along who makes those nearly sixty million feel inspired once more then look for the scales to tip back into the Republican’s favor. When that happens look too for the crazy return in full force.

Anytime you doubt this just remember “freedom fries.” That happened and will happen again. That’s a promise.


What do you think of this post?
Awesome (0) Interesting (0) Funny (0) Useful (0)

The One Award Petraeus Is Not So Proud Of

By tmcbpatriot | November 12, 2012 | No Comments

Can you find it? You don’t have to look very hard. No pun intended.

The One Award Petraeus Is Not So Proud Of takemycountryback

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (0) Interesting (0) Funny (0) Useful (0)

My Post Election Lack of Empathy

By tmcbpatriot | November 8, 2012 | 1 Comment

My Post Election Lack of Empathy takemycountrybackIf read one more article about “why Romney lost” I am going to pass out. I turned it into a drinking game and so far I have gone through two bottles of Captain Morgan. In fact, I haven’t stopped drinking since Karl Rove shat his drawers over Ohio.

I’m kidding of course…about the drinking not about Karl Rove.

Nevertheless, yesterday was New Year Day. I wanted to go outside and blow a horn and light some fireworks. What I did end up doing though was much much more entertaining and far more fun. I tuned in to FOX radio.

Oh man. There is nothing better in this world than listening to the sound of pure shock and disbelief going out into deep space for all eternity. It was beautiful. There was John “white people, make more babies!” Gibson, Brian “we keep marrying other species and other ethnics” Kilmeade and Tom “not popular enough to have his quotes archived” Sullivan all trying their hardest to come up some kind of explanation for this gigantic loss. A billion dollars later and things are pretty much where they were the day before.

So what was the excuse? In the early morning it was Hurricane Sandy. You remember the hurricane, right? That big storm from last week? Look it up.

Anyway, Kilmeade went with the narrative that Obama won because people voted based on his response to the storm. To that, Kilmeade said: America is ‘the shallowest country in the history of man’.

Later in the day Ann “If you don’t run Chris Christie then Romney will be the nominee and will lose” Coulter said that is was basically the moocher class who were the reason for Obama’s win. She said: “We have more takers than makers and it’s over. There is no hope.”

It went on like this all day and it was great. One moment Romney was claiming he cared for 100% of the electorate and the next his very same republican party was on the radio reminding 50.5% of us why we voted for Obama.

Perhaps the favorite part of my day was when I read this:

From CBS News: Romney was stoic as he talked to the president, an aide said, but his wife Ann cried. Running mate Paul Ryan seemed genuinely shocked, the adviser said. Ryan’s wife Janna also was shaken and cried softly.

Is that a great description or what? I mean, who can read that and not picture the dumb look of shock on Paul Ryans face or Ann Romney with her face in her hands crying softly while Mitt is trying to  take in what is happening around him. He is realizing that he will never, ever be President of the United States. He feels sick, the color leaving his face. He thinks of his father and how disappointed he would be seeing his son lose so badly. Listening to his wife crying was probably so hard for Mitt to deal with too. It must have been like a funeral backstage.

Do I sound heartless? Cold? Normally, on any other day and for most any other person I would feel empathy and want to tell them that it will all be ok. But not today! Today, I want to tell Mitt and his wife to stop their whining and go back to Utah or wherever the fuck they reside and stay there for a good long while. America has shown you the door and we don’t even care if it hits you on the way out. Good riddance to you, your wife, Paul Ryan and those children of the corn kids of yours. Go back to your mansions and your car elevator and your hidden tax returns and your cayman island and swiss bank accounts. America is quite done with you. Good day, sir. I said good day! And that goes for your wife and that eddie munster looking running mate of yours.

I am also pleased to say that Mitt Romney’s career in politics is finally over! I have waiting many years to say that, ever since he won the Governorship in Massachusetts. I am especially thrilled to say it now after his long and expensive attempt at the presidency has come to a humiliating end. Most importantly, we must remember too that this is not just his loss. This is also a loss for Ted Nugent and Meatloaf and Kid Rock and every other has-been, right wing, tea party nut who has ever thought that rape was God’s gift to woman and who has ever shot a gun.

America, today ia a great day to gloat. Tomorrow I will be a caring person once again, but today it really doesn’t get any sweeter than this.

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (1) Interesting (0) Funny (1) Useful (0)

Predictions and Quotes — All Wrong — Well, Mostly.

By tmcbpatriot | November 6, 2012 | No Comments

George Will to Republicans: “If you can’t win this election, get out of politics.”

Nancy Pelosi: “Everybody know Mitt Romney won’t be president.”

Bryan Fischer: “If Barack Obama wins this election, the republican party as we know it is finished.”

Newt Gingrich: Predicts Romney victory of 53-47 percent.

Joe Scarborough: “Anybody that thinks this race is anything but a tossup right now is such an ideologue. They should be kept away from typewriters, computers, laptops and microphones for the next 10 days because they’re jokes.”

Ann Coulter: “If you don’t run Chris Christie Romney will be the nominee and will lose.”

David Brooks: “[Nate] Silver may be a one term celebrity.”

Eric Bolling: After the latest job report: “This is official. Mitt Romney will now win the election.”

Ari Fleischer: “Prediction time: The election wont end tuesday night. 7 states will be decided by 1 pt or less (VA, OH, CO, IA, PA, WI. NH)”

George Will: Predicts Romney win with 321 electoral votes

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (0) Interesting (0) Funny (0) Useful (0)

Live Blogging Tonight At The Reaction Blog

By tmcbpatriot | November 6, 2012 | No Comments

Please check out myself and the Reaction gang live blogging at http://the-reaction.blogspot.com/. Tons fo fun, cursing, joking, vomiting, worrying, rejoicing, crying, shouting, we’ve got it all! Come on over and stay a while.

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (0) Interesting (0) Funny (0) Useful (0)

Just F’ing Vote! And Other Election Eve Thoughts

By tmcbpatriot | November 5, 2012 | No Comments

Just Fing Vote! And Other Election Eve Thoughts takemycountrybackFinally, it’s that time! It’s been a long road to get here and soon it will be all over — At least for a few days until we start figuring out who is going to run in 2016.

As for tomorrow, I honestly have no clue what is going to happen, and here’s why:

Family Circle Cookie Contest - The candidate whose wife has the best cookie recipe will win the election. — Advantage: Obama

7-Eleven Coffee Cup Contest - Consumers buying coffee at the 7-Eleven convenience stores can choose between an Obama or Romney cup. Whichever candidate’s cup sells the most will win the election. – Advantage: Obama

Scholastic Kid’s Poll - Whoever wins the Scholastic Student Vote poll will win the election. – Advantage: Obama. 

Halloween Mask Sales - The candidate whose Halloween mask sells the most will win the election. – Advantage: Obama. Caveat: Romney holds a 2 percent lead over Obama, according to BuyCostumes.com.

Lakers Law - If the Lakers go to the NBA Championship during an election year, the Republican candidate will be in the Oval Office. This has been true eight times in the past – 1952, 1968, 1972, 1980, 1984, 1988, 2000 and 2004. It was wrong four years ago, though, as the Lakers won the title, but John McCain didn’t win the election. The Lakers missed the NBA Finals, which was won by the Miami Heat. – Advantage: Obama.

Blinking - Whichever candidate blinks the most while talking during the debates will lose the election. —  During the first debate Obama blinked an average 70.8 times per minute while Romney averaged 52.8 blinks per minute. – Advantage: Romney. I did not find a tally for all three debates. BTW: The “blinking rule” has accurately predicted the outcome of every presidential race since 1980.

The Redskins Rule - Since 1936, the Washington Redskins’ performance in their final home game has served as one predictor of how the general election will swing. If the Redskins win, the incumbent stays in power. If they don’t, the challenger takes the Oval Office. The glaring exception is in 2004 when the Redskins and John Kerry both lost. The Panthers defeated the Redskins this past Sunday. Advantage: Romney.

By my count, Obama is clearly the favorite, but since I am superstitious I will be sure not to walk under any ladders between now and Wednesday. But honestly, anyone who says they know who will win the election is either a software developer for the voting machine company or Nate Silver. I am neither.

Nate Silver, of course is the guy to go to when you want to know what is happening with polling and he does not disappoint  As of tonight he’s got Obama with 302 electoral college votes and an 86.3% chance of winning. If I were a betting man, I would have to go with Romney just because the odds are so insane that I would make a killing. Nate even bet that tool Joe Scarborough $2,000 that Obama would win.

Tellingly, Joe did not take the bet.

So who will win? Who the fuck knows? All I can say is please fucking vote and if you are feeling negative about Obama’s chances, be sure to turn your underwear inside out. I hear that helps to change your luck.

What do you think of this post?
Awesome (0) Interesting (0) Funny (0) Useful (0)

Chris Christie Caption Fun

By tmcbpatriot | November 3, 2012 | No Comments

Chris Christie Caption Fun takemycountryback


In what may turn out to be the moment of the election, you have to wonder what the hell is going through Chris Christie’s mind in this moment:

Here are some possibilities:

  • Donuts
  • Obama looks kind of like a slim jim….mmmmmm….slim jims.
  • Obama’s really a good guy…No! Stop thinking that!
  • Limbaugh is going to give me hell tomorrow. Fuck it. I need help!
  • I’m pretty sure FOX is not even covering this speech.
  • Why did I decide to be a Republican? Stupid! Stupid!
  • I can’t believe I said this guy is not a leader last week. Man, I am really going to get a shellacking for that one. Note to self, do not TiVo the Daily Show this week.
  • I really need to sit down.
  • Can I vote for Obama without anyone knowing? I really like this guy. Damnit!
  • You know what? Fuck Romney for not selecting me to be V.P.. Obama/Biden 2012!


What do you think of this post?
Awesome (0) Interesting (0) Funny (0) Useful (0)

Page 5« First...34567...10...Last »