By tmcbpatriot | December 15, 2012 | 14 Comments
It is with the heaviest heart that I write this post. I live in Connecticut and never imagined something so horrific happening so close to home, much less at all. But this is America, with her purple mountain majesties and easy access to insane weaponry, including those supposedly used in this latest massacre. Sources are reporting that “at least three guns were used — two pistols and, according to the BBC and AP, a .223-caliber assault rifle. If you have not seen what a .223-caliber assault rifle looks like, be my guest.
Normally I run a clean blog, but what the fuck? When is this going to stop? And what’s to be done if someone did decide that enough was enough? Well, unluckily for us we will not have to worry about that anytime soon:
Q: The President made a campaign promise to work to renew the assault weapons ban. Why won’t you stand up here today and say that that remains a commitment of his?
CARNEY: It does remain a commitment of his. What I said is, today is not the day, I believe as a father, a day to engage in the usual Washington policy debates. I think that that they will come, but today of not that day, especially as we are awaiting more information about the situation in Connecticut.
I mean, Jesus Fucking Christ! Is he kidding? Today is not the day to engage in the usual policy debates? Since when is talking about banning access insane arsenals used to kill children in cold blood a usual policy debate? Answer? Never!
We never talk about guns in this country, unless of course you are screaming about your right to own one. If you are one of those people, excuse me for interrupting you and imposing on your rights. Well what about my rights, our rights, the rights of those 20 children who are now dead? What happened to their right to pursue life, liberty and all that other bullshit?
Seems guns take priority over life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness…unless of course your idea of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is shooting up an elementary school full of defenseless, innocent, beautiful children whose families will forever be devastated. God forbid we impose on your right to do that!
Well, maybe one day we will. Just not today. Today, after all, is not that day.
By tmcbpatriot | December 7, 2012 | No Comments
Is it me or did something profound happen after this election? Obama won the election by a comfortable margin, even after all those hundreds of millions were wasted and FOX and the right wingers basically went bust in the process. As a result, I’m ok with letting events take their course, knowing that whatever happens will all be ok. I trust Obama, and after seeing him trounce the GOP I feel that much more confident in him.
I used to think Obama wasn’t much of a politician. I still don’t. I now think he understands how politicians work and he manages to stay one step ahead. Sure Romney was a bad candidate and a real jack-off, but Obama had an army waging total war against him for years and he still won. If that’s not leadership and smarts then I don’t know what is.
Furthermore, as a result of that leadership the GOP is now in total disarray. If we were to look at their loss in terms of the seven stages of grief, by my observation they are currently at Stage 4: Depression, Reflection and Loneliness.
“Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.”
A month after the election, Republicans still cannot believe they lost and the shockwaves are still being felt. New York magazine is reporting that Roger Ailes “has issued a new directive to his staff: He wants the faces associated with the election off the air — for now.” Ann Coulter is even facing her own version of reality saying that taxes for the rich should go up. After all, “We [Republicans] lost the election.” She said this on FOX and in front of Sean Hannity! Even Tea Bagger Senator Jim Demint is getting out while the getting is good.
Is this the end of the GOP? Hardly. They are stil as crazy as ever on the state level and bloviating about things they clearly do not understand. Nationally, however, the GOP is deflated. The blame is still going around and there is a lot of it.
Next year and the ones that follow may be another story. Maybe Obama will screw up. Maybe Hillary will choose not to run in 2016. Maybe Joe Biden becomes the nominee. Maybe Chris Christie loses 400 pounds. Maybe Marco Rubio will grow a few inches taller (we don’t elect short presidents). Regardless, for the moment the GOP has been castrated. It is as if, at least for now, they have become parodies of themselves. They have become synonymous with lies, paranoia and with the circus over at FOX.
I’m not saying the GOP has jumped the shark. That’s impossible. To do that you first have to be somewhat palatable. The GOP is simply adrift at sea with a blown motor right now. They’ll re-group, but not before completing the last three stages of grief: The Upward Turn, Reconstruction and Working Through, and of course Acceptance and Hope.
They currently seem to be going through the stages rather quickly, but until they paddle to land we can watch in delight as they struggle through it. The good news is they only have their bare hands to use for paddles and they are sure to eat their own on the journey back. Let’s just hope the wind picks up and blows them off course for a long, long time.
By tmcbpatriot | December 4, 2012 | No Comments
Back after a long break. I needed it. Seems like after the long election and then Thanksgiving, I just needed time to regroup. Also, this whole fiscal cliff thing is boring. For one, I am not an economist. On the other hand, all of it is nothing more than a show, much like watching WWF wrestling with the Republicans trying to be intimidating while the Dems clearly have them in a headlock and on the ropes with them gasping for air. No matter what happens it is sure to be entertaining and more of the same, I.E. High unemployment and no new jobs.
Anyone who still believes America is a job creator must live in an alternate reality where idealism rules or it’s 1942. Back in the real world, the days of wine and roses have long since past, as least for a generation.
News flash! America does not create jobs anymore for the simple reason that we don’t make anything anymore. Think about it. If you removed everything around you at this very moment that was not made in China, or some other non-U.S. country, you would be left naked, standing in an empty room and with nothing to read. You could read a newspaper, but then again you’d better not spend too much to renew your subscription. Newspapers are long past their due date.
Today we live in a world where we camp out for stuff not made here and then trample each other to get it on Black Friday. You watch it all and wonder how we could be in such dire economic straights while people who don’t appear to be rich are falling over each other to buy crap they don’t need and that was made in China. Then it hits you. Truth is, we aren’t in economic straits. Not our government anyway. Never have been. It’s all a farce. It is part of the charade that is politics in this country.
Throughout the election the economy was the number one issue on every American’s mind. Before that is was the war on terror. Before that it was “Bringing integrity back to the White House.”
This year, Republicans thought they had this one in the bag. Reading the news, editorial cartoons, and watching the teevee machine, it is clear that Republicans are reliving the election as if it were still going on. At the same time they are on the fast track “to crazy town.” Through it all they are still posturing, obstructing and standing in the way of any attempt at progress.
You have to hand it to them though. This all makes for great TV and is a reminder that none of it is real. It’s all a show that Republicans created by making the economy their number one issue. After clearly losing the election they are now stuck holding the bag with nowhere to go but down. All they have left is Susan Rice and Benghazi and that too is fading fast. In other words, Republicans are in a choke hold and they are quickly turning blue.
But then again, Republicans have never been ones to give up without a fight. When it comes to power they are often the fiercest ones in the ring. But make no mistake. They do not care about Benghazi or some imaginary fiscal cliff or even a man named Grover who they are now throwing under the bus in order to make it seem as if they want to cut a deal.
Truth is, Republicans only care about winning back their majority back in the House and in the Senate, nothing less. With nowhere left to go they have no choice but to keep up their charade for as long as possible. After all, 2014 is right around the corner.
Now, maybe my cynicism is just getting the best of me. Maybe the election wiped me out. Maybe the year is ending, winter is settling in and I am just being grumpy. Maybe this election business, the fighting over Chinese made stuff and my writing this post from a hospital waiting room has just made me depressed. Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Just a routine appointment. As for the political outlook in 2013, that may need some IV and some serious medication or maybe that’s just what I need.
By tmcbpatriot | November 27, 2012 | No Comments
I have to admit though, a bit of my delay is also attributed to hearing back from some online news source that turned me down for reasons unknown. They did however make sure to tell me that it could have been “including, but not limited to, quality of writing and knowledge of topic.”
I mean, Jesus! Can you stick a knife in someones heart or what? It is hard to read stuff like this when shortly after doing so I go online and read:
“By the end of the bloated 2012 process, Barack Obama’s victory proved that sometimes saying nothing is more than enough. That turned out to be especially true this year after voters warily gazed across the not-so-great divide at Mitt Romney and decided that Air Supply had it right. That sometimes you have to make love out of nothing at all.”
You know who said that? A former congressman with his own talk show said that! And yet I’m the one with questionable writing skills and knowledge of topic? A smart person once said it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Nothing has ever been more true.
So here’s to you Joe Scarborough. You have risen to the top while the rest of us are made to suffer for at least trying. Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving, turkey.
By tmcbpatriot | November 20, 2012 | No Comments
A Cuban and a writer from GQ walk into the back room of a local community center in Miami’s Little Havana neighborhood. The writer then asks the Cuban:
GQ: “So, how old do you think the Earth is?”
Cuban: “I’m not a scientist, man. I can tell you what recorded history says, I can tell you what the Bible says, but I think that’s a dispute amongst theologians…I don’t think I’m qualified to answer a question like that. At the end of the day, I think there are multiple theories out there on how the universe was created and I think this is a country where people should have the opportunity to teach them all…Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to answer that. It’s one of the great mysteries.”
Ready for the punchline? The Cuban is actually a sitting Senator from Florida named Marco Rubio and he is one of my so-called “children” who think I was being literal when I said the universe and everything in it was created in seven days. And even that he got wrong because I “rested” on day seven, whatever that means. I mean, thanks for giving me so much credit, but damn…er…sorry, I meant darn, had I known humans would be so literal with my words I would have been more specific.
You know, when I said all those things back in the day I honestly thought people would take that information and really think about it. Instead, they took me at my word and now we have people like this Rubio fellow making me out to be some kind of comic book superhero.
I mean, think about it. What is more impressive, that I can create heaven and earth in a week or over billions of years? I would have thought the latter to be more mind blowing, but then again thank you for suggeting I am only 6,000 years old. Flattery will get you everywhere, and I do mean everywhere, if you catch my drift. Do people still use that expression or am I dating myself?
Now, I have seen this so-called Bible and it always makes me chuckle (you might know it as thunder). And this might also come as a surprise, but I see the Bible as more like a game of telephone than my actual words. You know that game? What is said on one end gets translated into something completely different? That’s the Bible.
Let’s be real. If I really could create all of this in that brief time, wouldn’t I have also taken the time to make people a little bit more aware of their surroundings? From what I understand the writers of the Bible thought the universe was as large as the distance they could walk in a day. They must have thought all I could do was make sand!
I have to say though, I love your depictions of me. You flatter me with the flowing hair, white beard and muscles. I hate to break it to you, but neither I nor my son are as handsome as you all imagine, or as tall. Plus, if I were able to create everything in a week with time left over for resting wouldn’t that leave me plenty of time to shave?
Sorry, I know I should not be so sarcastic, what with being perfect and all.
Anyway, I said what I had to say. Please, stop taking everything you read to be the gospel, pun intended. It is flattering, but it also makes me seem like a simpleton. I actually tried to make things very complex and complicated because I love watching scientists trying to figure it all out. But when those so-called religious people try to put all of my hard work into such simple terms, well, I get kind of annoyed. You forget, I created all of you in my own image. I have a reputation to uphold!
Don’t make me come down there.
By tmcbpatriot | November 15, 2012 | No Comments
FUCK YOU ORRIN HATCH AND THE WAGON YOU RODE IN ON!
Yeah, not really the same as physically destroying a piece of paper with a ballpoint, is it? Nevertheless, the screed before you is about Orrin Hatch, or rather something Orrin Hatch said recently regarding Never-To-Be-President Romney’s now infamous 47% remark. Apparently, Romney was at it again the other day talking about how Obama won because of all the “gifts” he gave to everyone who wasn’t white and already overloaded with gifts.
This is how Hatch responded when asked about that:
“It’s not 47 percent of the nation that is not paying federal income taxes. “It’s 51 percent!” Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) said Wednesday.”
“It was distorted because Romney did not explain it right,” Hatch said. “All he had to say was ‘Look, when 51 percent of all households — not just individuals — don’t pay a penny in income taxes, it shows that we’ve got too many people riding in the wagon.’ What he should have said is, ‘I want to get them out of the wagon in good jobs where they can also help pull the wagon.’
I don’t know about you, but this asinine statement gives me an image of latinos, blacks and woman riding huddled together in a old timey wagon drawn by government mules across the high desert plains. Coming from a man as old as Hatch it is really no wonder he would use such an archaic analogy. But then he is a Republican. This kind of imagery goes over well with the tea bagger crowd who actually want to be back in the good ol’ days of wagon trains. For the rest of us, this comment is a stark reminder, again, of why Obama is still our President and why Romney is heading back to one of his mansions never to be heard from again. One can hope, right?
Now, if you recall, after Romney’s 47% debacle the Governor shook his etch-a-sketch and tried to claim that he misspoke and that he actually cares for 100% of Americans. Yet, less than a week after his defeat he is speaking publicly again about the mooching class and how they pay no taxes and voted for Obama because of the gifts he gave them.
By the way, those gifts Romney was referring to were:
“free health care “in perpetuity,” which he said was highly motivational to black and Hispanic voters as well as for voters making $25,000 to $35,000 a year.
Romney also said the administration’s promise to offer what he called “amnesty” to the children of illegal immigrants – what he termed “the so-called DREAM Act kids” – helped send Hispanics to the polls for Obama.
Young voters, Romney said, were motivated by the administration’s plan for partial forgiveness of college loan interest and being able to remain on their parents’ health insurance plans. Young women had an additional incentive to vote for Obama because of free contraception coverage under the president’s health care plan, he said.
Nice gifts, I must say. Actually, reading this list does more harm than good. It kind of reminds people of all the good things they have thanks to Obama. How can you say these are bad? Who would deny that these are more than just handouts to a lowly bunch of non-tax-paying-low-life’s? Orrin Hatch would, of course. Hatch not only defended Romney, but he also threw these same Americans under the bus…er wagon…once again.
Here is the rest of what Hatch said:
“The problem with using that kind of percentage is when I’ve used it, I’ve gone through a whole litany of explanation to show what I mean. But you can’t tell me that the whole 51 percent of all households — that includes husbands working, wives working, maybe older children working — are truly poor. We need to help the truly poor.
“That does mean we ought to get these people jobs and have them make a good enough living, whereby they can help pull the wagon,” he said.
Asked what he meant by “truly poor,” Hatch said people had to decide that for themselves, but he did have some ideas.
“To me, it’s people who make less money than they need to really live on, or don’t make any money at all or are handicapped or are people with disabilities,” he said. “Sometimes it may mean senior citizens who do not have that much Social Security coming.
“There are truly poor people,” he added. “But 51 percent of households, which includes husbands, wives, children who work? Come on. It doesn’t take any brains to see there’s something wrong here, that we don’t have more people really helping to pull the wagon. And what’s wrong is not the people, it’s us for not getting the opportunities, the economic opportunities for them to get out of the wagon and help pull.”
Jeez, what an asshole! Makes you wonder too what Orrin Hatch thinks of the actual wagon riders who also had no jobs and paid no income taxes back in the day when they were just living off the land and encouraged by their government to “go west.” I am sure they were patriots just trying to make it. Today though, anyone just trying to make it is nothing but a lazy, low class moocher living off handouts stolen from the wealthy and dolled out by the government in the hopes that some of it falls into their government issued…wagon?
To this I say: America be thankful that a Republican did not win this election. Be thankful they had a robot for a candidate. Be thankful Orrin Hatch’s comments were said publicly and act as a sobering reminder of why more than half the country abandoned Republicans yet again.
Be thankful too that Orrin Hatch is a giant asshole. Even though I hate the man for what he stands for we can only hope that he and people like him continue to talk into microphones and dig their own graves deeper and deeper. Although the world would be a much better place without his kind we need them, lest we risk repeating the worst travesty one can imagine: Putting one of them back into the White House.
I for one say thank you to Orrin Hatch. Our country owes you a great debt for reminding us why we voted the way we did and what an asshole you really are.
By tmcbpatriot | November 13, 2012 | No Comments
I saw this brief story at Talking Points Memo that made me wonder about the Republican comeback and what that might look like.
The story read as follows: ”Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-WA), the highest ranked House Republican woman, said Sunday on CNN’s “State of the Union”:
“I don’t think it’s about the Republican Party needing to become more moderate; I really believe it’s the Republican Party becoming more modern,” she said. “And whether it’s Hispanics, whether it’s women, whether it’s young people, the Republican Party has to make it a priority to take our values, to take our vision to every corner of this country.”
“I think it’s more about the messenger and who’s communicating our values to every corner of this country.”
Such an interesting statement so soon after a significant defeat, but one that is to be expected. Should Republicans dare to go the moderate route and risk being laughed right out of town? Of course not. You can’t go from hating everyone who is non-white and male, applauding the idea of someone without healthcare dying, and talk about rape as being God’s plan to all of a sudden supporting gay marriage, caring about poor people, offering amnesty for Mexicans and respecting a vagina. It is just not believable.
No, something else has to be done to woo these same demographics into the Republican fold. It is absolutely necessary for the GOP’s survival, but it won’t be easy.
What Republicans need to do, and what I expect they will do in the coming months, is to lay off the gays, immigration, vaginas and poor people and instead focus solely on the economy and the size of government. These are steady, benign, non-racially charged issues that poll well with all kinds of people. Had Republicans truly stuck to this meme and not strayed into rape talk and bashing 47% of the country they may have actually pulled it off.
As a result of their huge loss though, Republicans now have to lay low. They need to go to the mattresses on the hot button issues that were soundly defeated this time around.
However, Republicans know that they still have the economy on their side. Nearly sixty million people voted for Romney to “fix” the economy. That issue has not gone away. I do not believe Obama was re-elected on the economy alone and do not believe the President was given a mandate on that issue. He actually still has a lot to prove to those red states and to those states where the vote was really close.
The reality is, Republicans did not lose on the economy. They lost on the crazy, and in keeping with Rep. Rogers statement Republicans do not know how to be anything else. They have turned crazy into an art form and have worked too hard and too long to just give it up.
Nevertheless, as with any loss there is some sucking up to do in the short term while they save face and plan for a comeback. To get those people who moved away from them this year, Republican’s may have to, as Bill O’Reilly so eloquently put it, give them stuff in the short term; gay marriage, legal pot, amnesty, abortions, school loans, higher taxes for rich people, leaving Big Bird alone. This will be bad medicine going down, but once they get past the foul taste they may find that the same people who would never vote (R) might see a party willing to ease up on social issues and truly work on what they are experts in: ruining the economy and starting wars. In terms of those two areas, crazy wins every time.
Of course this is not going to happen in the short term. The recent crop of Republicans who were ousted in 2012 is a testament to that. But then Rep. Rodgers ended her comment with what could be the most telling aspect of this whole thing:
“I think it’s more about the messenger and who’s communicating our values to every corner of this country.”
She may be right. Rest assured, one day some actor or evangelist or smooth talking, charismatic personality will arise once more to take back the party. It is inevitable. Once that happens, then everything I said is out the window. Let’s face it, the only reason Romney won the first debate was because Obama didn’t show. However, put Obama up against a Ronald Reagan or a plain talking simpleton like George W. and things may not go so well for Dems next time.
Remember, if this was really about voting for a liberal agenda then Al Gore and/or John Kerry would have defeated an obvious failure like Bush. But it was not to be. Remember too that Obama will not be running next time. Put someone like Joe Biden or Hillary Clinton up against a thinner Chris Christie or a good looking Scott Brown type with a pickup truck and things may look a whole lot different in 2016.
For now, assume terrorist looking Muslims will remain easy targets while Mexicans, gays and vaginas will become a little less threatening. But if someone comes along who makes those nearly sixty million feel inspired once more then look for the scales to tip back into the Republican’s favor. When that happens look too for the crazy return in full force.
Anytime you doubt this just remember “freedom fries.” That happened and will happen again. That’s a promise.
By tmcbpatriot | November 12, 2012 | No Comments
Can you find it? You don’t have to look very hard. No pun intended.
By tmcbpatriot | November 8, 2012 | 1 Comment
If read one more article about “why Romney lost” I am going to pass out. I turned it into a drinking game and so far I have gone through two bottles of Captain Morgan. In fact, I haven’t stopped drinking since Karl Rove shat his drawers over Ohio.
I’m kidding of course…about the drinking not about Karl Rove.
Nevertheless, yesterday was New Year Day. I wanted to go outside and blow a horn and light some fireworks. What I did end up doing though was much much more entertaining and far more fun. I tuned in to FOX radio.
Oh man. There is nothing better in this world than listening to the sound of pure shock and disbelief going out into deep space for all eternity. It was beautiful. There was John “white people, make more babies!” Gibson, Brian “we keep marrying other species and other ethnics” Kilmeade and Tom “not popular enough to have his quotes archived” Sullivan all trying their hardest to come up some kind of explanation for this gigantic loss. A billion dollars later and things are pretty much where they were the day before.
So what was the excuse? In the early morning it was Hurricane Sandy. You remember the hurricane, right? That big storm from last week? Look it up.
Anyway, Kilmeade went with the narrative that Obama won because people voted based on his response to the storm. To that, Kilmeade said: America is ‘the shallowest country in the history of man’.
Later in the day Ann “If you don’t run Chris Christie then Romney will be the nominee and will lose” Coulter said that is was basically the moocher class who were the reason for Obama’s win. She said: “We have more takers than makers and it’s over. There is no hope.”
It went on like this all day and it was great. One moment Romney was claiming he cared for 100% of the electorate and the next his very same republican party was on the radio reminding 50.5% of us why we voted for Obama.
Perhaps the favorite part of my day was when I read this:
From CBS News: Romney was stoic as he talked to the president, an aide said, but his wife Ann cried. Running mate Paul Ryan seemed genuinely shocked, the adviser said. Ryan’s wife Janna also was shaken and cried softly.
Is that a great description or what? I mean, who can read that and not picture the dumb look of shock on Paul Ryans face or Ann Romney with her face in her hands crying softly while Mitt is trying to take in what is happening around him. He is realizing that he will never, ever be President of the United States. He feels sick, the color leaving his face. He thinks of his father and how disappointed he would be seeing his son lose so badly. Listening to his wife crying was probably so hard for Mitt to deal with too. It must have been like a funeral backstage.
Do I sound heartless? Cold? Normally, on any other day and for most any other person I would feel empathy and want to tell them that it will all be ok. But not today! Today, I want to tell Mitt and his wife to stop their whining and go back to Utah or wherever the fuck they reside and stay there for a good long while. America has shown you the door and we don’t even care if it hits you on the way out. Good riddance to you, your wife, Paul Ryan and those children of the corn kids of yours. Go back to your mansions and your car elevator and your hidden tax returns and your cayman island and swiss bank accounts. America is quite done with you. Good day, sir. I said good day! And that goes for your wife and that eddie munster looking running mate of yours.
I am also pleased to say that Mitt Romney’s career in politics is finally over! I have waiting many years to say that, ever since he won the Governorship in Massachusetts. I am especially thrilled to say it now after his long and expensive attempt at the presidency has come to a humiliating end. Most importantly, we must remember too that this is not just his loss. This is also a loss for Ted Nugent and Meatloaf and Kid Rock and every other has-been, right wing, tea party nut who has ever thought that rape was God’s gift to woman and who has ever shot a gun.
America, today ia a great day to gloat. Tomorrow I will be a caring person once again, but today it really doesn’t get any sweeter than this.
By tmcbpatriot | November 6, 2012 | No Comments
George Will to Republicans: “If you can’t win this election, get out of politics.”
Nancy Pelosi: “Everybody know Mitt Romney won’t be president.”
Bryan Fischer: “If Barack Obama wins this election, the republican party as we know it is finished.”
Newt Gingrich: Predicts Romney victory of 53-47 percent.
Joe Scarborough: “Anybody that thinks this race is anything but a tossup right now is such an ideologue. They should be kept away from typewriters, computers, laptops and microphones for the next 10 days because they’re jokes.”
Ann Coulter: “If you don’t run Chris Christie Romney will be the nominee and will lose.”
David Brooks: “[Nate] Silver may be a one term celebrity.”
Eric Bolling: After the latest job report: “This is official. Mitt Romney will now win the election.”
Ari Fleischer: “Prediction time: The election wont end tuesday night. 7 states will be decided by 1 pt or less (VA, OH, CO, IA, PA, WI. NH)”
George Will: Predicts Romney win with 321 electoral votes
By tmcbpatriot | November 6, 2012 | No Comments
Please check out myself and the Reaction gang live blogging at http://the-reaction.blogspot.com/. Tons fo fun, cursing, joking, vomiting, worrying, rejoicing, crying, shouting, we’ve got it all! Come on over and stay a while.
By tmcbpatriot | November 5, 2012 | No Comments
As for tomorrow, I honestly have no clue what is going to happen, and here’s why:
Family Circle Cookie Contest - The candidate whose wife has the best cookie recipe will win the election. — Advantage: Obama
7-Eleven Coffee Cup Contest - Consumers buying coffee at the 7-Eleven convenience stores can choose between an Obama or Romney cup. Whichever candidate’s cup sells the most will win the election. – Advantage: Obama
Scholastic Kid’s Poll - Whoever wins the Scholastic Student Vote poll will win the election. – Advantage: Obama.
Lakers Law - If the Lakers go to the NBA Championship during an election year, the Republican candidate will be in the Oval Office. This has been true eight times in the past – 1952, 1968, 1972, 1980, 1984, 1988, 2000 and 2004. It was wrong four years ago, though, as the Lakers won the title, but John McCain didn’t win the election. The Lakers missed the NBA Finals, which was won by the Miami Heat. – Advantage: Obama.
Blinking - Whichever candidate blinks the most while talking during the debates will lose the election. — During the first debate Obama blinked an average 70.8 times per minute while Romney averaged 52.8 blinks per minute. – Advantage: Romney. I did not find a tally for all three debates. BTW: The “blinking rule” has accurately predicted the outcome of every presidential race since 1980.
The Redskins Rule - Since 1936, the Washington Redskins’ performance in their final home game has served as one predictor of how the general election will swing. If the Redskins win, the incumbent stays in power. If they don’t, the challenger takes the Oval Office. The glaring exception is in 2004 when the Redskins and John Kerry both lost. The Panthers defeated the Redskins this past Sunday. Advantage: Romney.
By my count, Obama is clearly the favorite, but since I am superstitious I will be sure not to walk under any ladders between now and Wednesday. But honestly, anyone who says they know who will win the election is either a software developer for the voting machine company or Nate Silver. I am neither.
Nate Silver, of course is the guy to go to when you want to know what is happening with polling and he does not disappoint As of tonight he’s got Obama with 302 electoral college votes and an 86.3% chance of winning. If I were a betting man, I would have to go with Romney just because the odds are so insane that I would make a killing. Nate even bet that tool Joe Scarborough $2,000 that Obama would win.
Tellingly, Joe did not take the bet.
So who will win? Who the fuck knows? All I can say is please fucking vote and if you are feeling negative about Obama’s chances, be sure to turn your underwear inside out. I hear that helps to change your luck.
By tmcbpatriot | November 3, 2012 | No Comments
In what may turn out to be the moment of the election, you have to wonder what the hell is going through Chris Christie’s mind in this moment:
Here are some possibilities:
- Obama looks kind of like a slim jim….mmmmmm….slim jims.
- Obama’s really a good guy…No! Stop thinking that!
- Limbaugh is going to give me hell tomorrow. Fuck it. I need help!
- I’m pretty sure FOX is not even covering this speech.
- Why did I decide to be a Republican? Stupid! Stupid!
- I can’t believe I said this guy is not a leader last week. Man, I am really going to get a shellacking for that one. Note to self, do not TiVo the Daily Show this week.
- I really need to sit down.
- Can I vote for Obama without anyone knowing? I really like this guy. Damnit!
- You know what? Fuck Romney for not selecting me to be V.P.. Obama/Biden 2012!
By tmcbpatriot | November 2, 2012 | No Comments
The new jobs report is out and everyone is going nuts. Some Dems are saying we should take this latest report with a grain of salt and not consider it when voting on Tuesday.
To that I say: Nuts! Salted Nuts!
We are practically hours away from election day. You can smell it in the air. With little time remaining, Republicans are trying everything they can to bring the conversation back to Benghazi because, with regards to the economy and every thing else they have thrown at Obama, nothing else is sticking.
As for Benghazi, unless Harry Reid comes out between now and Tuesday to back the conspiracy theorists then the whole thing comes off as some kind of non-story invented by the folks at FOX. Not so hard to believe.
As for the leadership argument, that went out the window after Hurricane Sandy. We were even treated to a rather large Republican Governor, and one time poster boy for the Republican’s only hope of winning in November, praising the President for doing an awesome job of leading. You might even say that Chris Christie is now an Obama supporter. Hell, me might even vote for the guy. At the very least you will not hear a disparaging word about Obama come out of his mouth for some time to come.
As for the economy, today brought the final jobs report before the election. If you recall about a month ago, Republicans were in a tizzy over the jobs report. In September the unemployment rate dropped to 7.8% and everyone went wild.
Well, isn’t that convenient? The Obama campaign desperately needed the last employment report to be released before the election to show that the unemployment rate had fallen below 8 percent, and somehow it magically happened.
Unbelievable jobs numbers..these Chicago guys will do anything..can’t debate so change numbers.
No, there’s nothing at all curious about the last jobs report diving to 7.8% unemployment before the election.
Jobs report is a lie !! It’s not a conspiracy theory…it’s people covering up/lying for Obama.
Obama said weds that a President owes it to country to tell truth then pisses on our leg with fake jobs report and tells us it’s raining
You see what these right wingers who tweeted these quotes a month ago actually did? In their moment of panic they forgot two things: 1. That another jobs report would be forthcoming before the election and to save their conspiracies until then, and 2. By touting how wonderful these numbers were, albeit conspiratorially, they essentially laid the ground rules that anything below 8% was so amazing that it had to be a lie!
Robert Reich, secretary of labor under President Clinton, said yesterday that we should take tomorrow’s jobs report with a grain of salt.
Reich: “No one should base their vote on tomorrow’s labor report…because a single month’s report isn’t a reliable gauge of which way the economy is heading.
Now, I am no former secretary to a President, but c’mon. Really? Why even put that out there? Mr. Reich, last month Republicans handed this one to Democrats on a silver platter. I know how Dems love to crap on opportunity, but now is not the time. The President needs to remind voters how great this number is and run with it all the way to Tuesday.
Republicans, including CEO’s, Chief’s of Staff of war criminals, as well as obese radio pundits, all said that anything under 8% was so great for Obama that the fix must be in. This latest report has unemployment at 7.9%. Last I checked that was below 8% and nearly identical to what it was when Obama took office in January 2009.
So to Mr. Reich, and to all the conspiracy theorists who will change their tune today to say how terrible these numbers really are, throw that salt over your shoulder for luck, tenderize some red meat to throw at Obama or use it to flavor your last supper before game day, but do not say it doesn’t matter. Of course it matters. Republicans saw to that last month. And it will matter until Tuesday evening. In the end, that is all that ever really matters.
By tmcbpatriot | October 31, 2012 | No Comments
Man, I love hurricanes. Wait, let me clarify. I do not like the damage they cause, or the deaths, but I do love how it turns mild mannered, government hating Republicans into liberal, bleeding heart socialists. The latest to come aboard the socialist train is non other than Chris Christie.
In case you were in a coma this past week, a giant hurricane slammed into southern New Jersey and basically turned Atlantic City into the lost city of Atlantis.
Now, with nowhere to turn and Governor Romney’s plan to privatize disaster relief just a Republican pipe dream at this point, Governor Christie is on the television looking shocked, exhausted, overwhelmed and absolutely praising President Obama for his leadership and essentially begging him for FEMA to swoop in and help him the fuck out.
It’s still October and the surprises just keep on coming.
Shorter Christie: “Mr. President, I am sorry for slamming you in the past. Please help us!!!
By tmcbpatriot | October 30, 2012 | No Comments
Good evening, my fellow Americans. As you all know by now Hurricane Sandy is fast approaching the eastern United States. Its impact is said to be unprecedented and devastating. I want you all to know that I am with you, all 100% of you, in spirit and in prayer.
As you know, as President I have made a lot of changes since I took office. One of them was to end what we used to know as the Federal Emergency Management Agency or FEMA. This, along with PBS and NPR, was an immoral economic drain on our economy and added many millions of dollars to our multi trillion dollar national debt. As I said during the Republican primaries, this is debt that was being passed on to our kids knowing full well that we’ll all be dead and gone before it’s paid off.
As President, I am proud to say that I have kept my promise to you, the American people. I ripped FEMA from the governments irresponsible grasp and sent it back to where it belongs, to the states and more importantly, to private companies. Many of these companies have since become very successful and profitable. As a result they have also hired many Americans to do the work that the government used to do.
Now, for just a few dozen dollars per day, you and your family are fully protected from most natural and man-made disasters, 24/7. In fact, I am sure many of these companies are busy right now working hard to ensure that all of their subscribers are getting the utmost care and attention. Those who are not yet covered, you can call them right now or go onto the Googles to find a company in your area and a disaster plan that is right for you and your loved ones. If the lines are busy, keep trying. If your power is down go to a friend or neighbor and ask to use their phone or internets. Remember, for as long as this storm lasts we are all in this together.
Believe me when I tell you too that these companies do a heckuva job.
As the worst of the storm is overhead, Ann and I will be monitoring it from the White House. We will make sure that our children are safe and out of harms way and pray that yours are too. We are confident that the private disaster relief companies that we helped to create, as well as your state and local officials, will be there to help you through this. Remember too that these great American companies accept all major credit cards and will not bill you until after the danger has passed.
Ann, the boys and I are proud of you, America. Now stay safe, stay dry, and most importantly best of luck. Thank you.
– UPDATE: Sandy cost may hit $50 billion – Thinking some 0% interest credit cards might be a good idea right about now.
By tmcbpatriot | October 30, 2012 | No Comments
Mitt: Uh…Hello? Mr. President? Yeah, about FEMA…heh…I was only kidding. What can I do to help?
Barry: Fuck off the line bitch! I’m working!
By tmcbpatriot | October 29, 2012 | 1 Comment
Please suffer through the commercial because it is so worth it. If this does not depict a Romney presidency than I don’t know what does. We have McCartney and Springsteen. The GOP? Well…they have Meatloaf.
By tmcbpatriot | October 26, 2012 | 4 Comments
Just when you think you’ve heard it all, Republican’s just can’t stop themselves. It’s like they are trying to outdo one another daily. This past week we had that Mourdock guy say that God loves rape and actually plans for it and now we have John Sununununu who went on television and basically told viewers that Colin Powell was Barack Obama’s soul brotha’ from anotha’ mutha’.
Sununu: And frankly, when you take a look at Colin Powell, you have to wonder whether that’s an endorsement based on issues or whether he’s got a slightly different reason for preferring President Obama.
Morgan: What reason would that be?
Sununu: Well, I think when you have somebody of your own race that you’re proud of being president of the United States, I applaud Colin for standing with him.
Golf clap. Bravo sir!
Ok, GOP, your move. How you gonna top that? While we’re waiting, it’s high time somebody reminds people who John Sununu is and why it is important to know and ask the question of why the media just calls him a “Top Romney Aid” rather than who/what he actually is: A giant hypocrite who wastes tax payer money and hates jews!
John Sununu was at one time the Governor of New Hampshire and later was the White House Chief of Staff under President George H. W. Bush. Sounds impressive on its face, but of course nothing is that simple in politics. Sununu, for those old enough to remember and for all you so-called fiscal conservatives wary of how your tax dollars are spent, is a name synonymous with personal plane trips.
From Wikipedia (although it is all true): [In 1991] The Washington Post wrote that Sununu’s [military] jets “took him to fat-cat Republican fund-raisers, ski lodges, golf resorts and even his dentist in Boston.” Sununu had paid the government only $892 for his more than $615,000 worth of military jet travel. Sununu said that his use of the jets was necessary because he had to be near a telephone at all times for reasons of national security. Sununu worsened the situation shortly afterwards when, after leaking rumors of financial difficulties in his family, he traveled to a rare stamp auction at Christie’s auction house in New York City from Washington in a government limousine, spending $5,000 on rare stamps. Sununu then sent the car and driver back to Washington unoccupied while he returned on a corporate jet. One ski trip to Vail, Colorado alone had cost taxpayers $86,330.
And not to leave anybody out, for all the Jews reading this who think Obama hates Israel:
From my new favorite website: Sununu was the only US governor not to call for the repeal of UN Security Council resolution 3379, which equated Zionism with racism (1986).
You know, one day we might live in a world where stuff that happened before 1998 might once again be relevant to journalists. Until then, the best we have is that some ugly old guy who supports Romney just accused Colin Powell of black on black love.
To all of you still undecided out there, take this additional bit of historical relevancy and consider it. If nothing else, this story should give you pause and some food for thought to simply “Do the Right Thing” on November 6th. Then again, that is a reference from 1989. You probably won’t get that one either.
By tmcbpatriot | October 23, 2012 | 1 Comment
Mitt Romney, October 22, 2012 (Debate #3): “In the 2000 debates there was no mention of terrorism, for instance. And a year later, 9/11 happened. So we have to make decisions based upon uncertainty. And that means a strong military. I will not cut our military budget.”
Al Gore, October 17, 2000 (Debate #3): “I served on the House Intelligence Committee and I worked hard to learn the subject of nuclear arms control and how we can diffuse these tensions and deal with non-proliferation and deal with the problems of terrorism and these new weapons of mass destruction. Look, we’re gonna face some serious new challenges in the next four years.”
George W Bush, October 17, 2000 (Debate #3): “Saddam Hussein still is a threat in the Middle East. Our coalition against Saddam is unraveling. Sanctions are loosened. The man who may be developing weapons of mass destruction.”
George W Bush, October 11, 2000 (Debate #2): “We don’t know whether he’s developing weapons of mass destruction. He better not be or there’s going to be a consequence should I be the president.”
Keepin’ the Peace. Heh. Heh. Heh.
Mitt Romney, October 22, 2012 (Debate #3): “Let me — let me step back and talk about what I think our mission has to be in the Middle East, and even more broadly, because our purpose is to make sure the world is more — is peaceful. We want a peaceful planet.”
George W Bush, October 17, 2000 (Debate #3): ”You’re going to live in a peaceful world. It will be a world of peace because we’re going to have a clear sight of foreign policy based upon a strong military and a mission that stands by our friends…I want to have the military keeping the peace…This is a peaceful nation, and I intend to keep the peace.”
Strengthening Our Military
Mitt Romney, October 22, 2012 (Debate #3): “We don’t want to get drawn into a military conflict…I do not want to see a military involvement on the part of — of our — of our troops. We need to have as well a strong military. Our military is second to none in the world.”
“We’re blessed with terrific soldiers and extraordinary technology and intelligence. But the idea of a trillion dollars in cuts through sequestration and budget cuts to the military would change that.”
“And our military — we’ve got to strengthen our military long- term.”
“Look, this, in my view, is the highest responsibility of the president of the United States, which is to maintain the safety of the American people. And I will not cut our military budget by a trillion dollars, which is the combination of the budget cuts that the president has as well as the sequestration cuts. That, in my view, is — is — is making our future less certain and less secure. I won’t do it. And of course, a military action is the last resort. It is something one would only, only consider if all of the other avenues had been — had been tried to their full extent.”
George W Bush, October 17, 2000 (Debate #3): ”Should I be fortunate enough to earn your confidence, the mission of the United States military will be to be prepared and ready to fight and win war. And therefore prevent war from happening in the first place.”
“I want to make sure the equipment for our military is the best it can possibly be, of course. But we have an opportunity — we have an opportunity to use our research and development capacities, the great technology of the United States, to make our military lighter, harder to find, more lethal. We have an opportunity, really, if you think about it, if we’re smart and have got a strategic vision and a leader who understands strategic planning, to make sure that we change the terms of the battlefield of the future so we can keep the peace.”
Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints! Don’t vote for this guy, America! You’ve been warned. Ok? Please?