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The SOTU Rebuttal Curse

By tmcbpatriot | February 15, 2013 | 1 Comment

The SOTU Rebuttal Curse takemycountryback“You son of a bitch you moved the cemetery, but you left the bodies didn’t cha?!…You only moved the headstones!!”

I wonder if Reince Preibus was screaming this to some elderly Republican after Marco Rubio’s rebuttal to the President’s State of the Union address. It seems pretty obvious after watching it that there is some kind of curse that has befallen those who dare take up the challenge of following Barack Obama’s SOTU, or any of his speeches really.

This weirdness all started back in 2010 when Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell thought it would be a great idea to respond to Obama’s first SOTU speech in the House Chamber of Virginia’s Capitol, making it look like, for those waking from a coma, that perhaps he was the President. Needless to say, those of you reading this probably have no idea who Bob McDonnell is. Perhaps it’s because you don’t live in Virginia or maybe its because he is not nearly as scary or insane as Ken Cuccinelli. Insanity defiantly helps people remember you when you are a Republican. Still, there is no denying that the chairs are defiantly moving by themselves.

After Obama’s second SOTU in 2011, Paul Ryan gave it a shot. He was, at the time, the next great hope for Republicans. I have no idea what he said in response to Obama’s speech nor do I care because thankfully his presidential hopes were dashed. See where this is going?

Next came Mitch Daniels. If you are wondering who Mitch Daniels is, think of him like that Indian from Poltergeist or maybe even Carol Ann, I.E. doomed for simply taking part.

Last, but certainly not least, there’s Marco “These pretzels are making me thirsty” Rubio. He is the GOP’s latest flavor of the month; sort of like the Latino Paul Ryan for all intents and purposes. Rubio gave it the ol’ college try and he will forever be remembered for it, just not in the way he hoped. Instead of being seen as the next great hope for the Republican party, the rebuttal curse has forever cemented his legacy as an also-ran who couldn’t get through a 15 minute, tele-prompted, rehearsed speech in front of nobody, without completing losing his shit and reaching for the water left for him in case he lost his mind and decided to drink from it on live T.V.!

It would seem that Republicans should be wondering by now what the hell is going on? Why are the lights blinking on and off? Why is a crazed man showing up at their doorstep shouting “You’re All Gonna Die in There!?” Or is that just Dick Cheney?

Republicans are 4-for-4 at this point; 6-for-6, if you count Bobby Jindal’s man-boy speech that followed Obama’s address to Congress, and of course Crazy Michelle Bachmann’s Tea Bagger response to the President which, as usual, took viewers on a surreal journey into crazy town.

I would suggest that at this point it might be time to take a good hard look at this and pull out all the stops. It might be time to do what anyone would do in a situation like this. It might just be time to call Tangina and hope that she can pull this party back into the light because let’s face it, at this point shit’s just getting weird.


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Comments

  • boctaoe

    What,! you ignore Rand Paul, looking slightly off center, as he says probably nothing. (i didn’t listen, even)